I am so far behind in my blogging, and my school work. I feel like everything that I am doing is never done. I feel like I am letting people down everywhere I turn. I cannot seem to keep up with the blogging every single day, and I cannot finish all of the school work that I want to finish in one day. I missed going to church toady because I feel under the weather. I went to sleep pretty early last night because I was too sick to get my school stuff done. I think that I am letting the Lord down because I have missed some of my devotions and I am overwhelmed by college decisions and planning.
Today is the national day of decision. I have to set in stone which college I am going to next year. I have now declined all of my top choices, and am going to my "fall back" school. It is hard for me to wrap my head around this school. Things have changed so much in the past couple months. I never would have seen myself going to this school just a few months ago. I do not know where I put the Lord in all of this. I had plans to go to a nice Christian college and surround myself with people who have a love for the Lord. Instead I will now be attending a state school. I am trying so hard to appreciate the fact that I am able to go to a nice school like Eastern, but it is a huge change for me.
The Lord will be with me no matter what school I go to. There are many Christians at the school I have chosen. There may not be a thousand Christians attending but there are enough for me to find and fellowship with. There is a Christian group at this University, and I plan to attend that as many times as I can. I believe that the Lord is going to use me somehow at this school. There is a reason I didn't end up at a private Christian college. The Lord has many more plans for me, and I do look forward to seeing just what those plans are.
I will say though, that blogging is still going to be hard to do every single day. For a while I think that I will have to do as many as I can. I have decided not to make up any that I missed in April because I don't have the time. It is not my time though, and I will be giving that time back to the Lord. My time though, might be just between me and the Lord for a short while. I need to make sure that my heart is in the right place for me to be sharing what is happening in my life.
