A Peace That Passes Understanding

If you've ever been around young children for any period of time, you quickly learn that their favorite, and most annoying question they ask is, "why?". I can tell them to do anything, and they will automatically want to know why. Why am I asking them to do that? Why should they have to do that? Why is it important? I find myself getting frustrated and impatient when they questioning my reasoning for giving them a direction. Wouldn't it just be easier if they would follow through with what I have said? It would certainly be easier on me.

Over the past 6 or so years, I have documented some of the bigger dealings in my life through this blog. I have shared with you how the Lord has worked through those things, or is working through them to this day. Although I know that He has a plan, I still find myself going to Him like a child asking Him why? I see tragedy all around in the lives of those I love and care about and I turn to God and ask Him why. How does this plan make sense. I pester Him in prayer, asking over and over, why. Why should this be the way things are? Why would You (the Lord) allow this to happen? What do You expect us to do now? Just. Like. A. Child. I want to know why.

 Here's the honest truth, there are some tragedies in my life that have occurred, that I have now received an answer as to why they occurred. That's not the case with a lot of our lives. A lot of my "why's" haven't been answered, and I'm sure that many of yours haven't either. I used to feel such guilt every time I asked the Lord why. As if asking that meant that I didn't have enough faith in Him to get me through it. The awesome part about our loving Lord, is that we can come to Him with ANYTHING. That means that although I can't stand being asked "why" 50 times a day by kindergarteners, He can handle me asking Him why 600 times a day.

So here I am today, still asking Him why. Why did You take that man from his family at his young age? Why did you let those children be taken away from people who love them? Why did another relative get cancer and die? Why did her heart have to be broken? Why? I know that you have questions similar to mine, and so many more of your own "why" questions. Let me tell you this, He is listening. He sees you in the midst of this storm. He hears your crying and He loves you. It may not feel like it right now, but that's okay, because it's the truth.

I came across this quote recently that reads,
"Man asks why. Jesus asks how. Man asks, 'Why did this happen?' Jesus asks, 'How might My Father's glory be displayed through this situation?'" - Laura Story.

What if when we asked why, we also asked how. How will He use this for His glory. How many lives will be changed because of this situation? During our most recent loss, I found myself asking how instead of why. I can be very logical about certain things. When a loved one passes away, I like to know the medical logic behind the tragedy. It helps me make sense of why someone I love would need to leave their earthly bodies. Now I want to know how that loss, how that pain will be turned into good. How will the situation be used by the Lord.

Something I still struggle with is grasping that there are situations that we will never understand. It will never make sense to our human hearts. One of my favorite verses in the Bible is Philippians 4:6. When I was reading it the other day, I read a little further into verse 7.

⁶Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. ⁷ Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.

We aren't meant to understand everything, but when we don't understand, and when we are asking why, we can pray for a peace that passes all understanding. A peace that can only come from the Lord. That is where I will focus my prayer now when I am asking why, and not receiving an answer (or the kind of answer that I want). That is my challenge to you as well. While asking for understanding be ready to accept a peace that passes all understanding.

All of My Trust

For some time how the Lord has been nudging me to get back to writing my testimony. I've been ignoring that and telling myself that no one needs to hear about my little testimonies. I was reminded why I began this blog. It wasn't to preach, it wasn't to build myself up, it was to share what real life is like as a believer. It's messy and confusing and it's not always happy. As Christians we often believe that when we go through times of sorrow, we are not trusting the Lord enough. I mean, they say our joy has to come from the Lord, so how come I couldn't find that joy. That's how the enemy takes hold of us. Through lies like that. Over the past year, I have fallen into that thought process. I felt that I couldn't share my testimony because here I was, not being joyful. 

 

The Lord has been tugging on my heart, sometimes more clearly than other times. I'm going to share with you one thing that hit me pretty hard and has weighed heavy on me while trying to process what the Lord wants me to do with this information.

I attended a conference the other day, and the speaker began to talk about the eleven disciples heading to the mountain in Galilee . They were to wait there for Jesus. This is the place where He would give the Great Commission. Matthew 28:16-17 reads:

 

"Then the eleven disciples left for Galilee, going to the mountain where Jesus had told them to go. When they saw Him, they worshiped Him, but some of them doubted". 

 

I was baffled by the last part of verse 17. They had been with Him for three years at that point. They had seen Him walk on water, heal the sick, feed the 5,000 and so many more miraculous things. To me I scoffed at the disciples. How dense can you be to see all of that and still not believe? I mean come on. I will be the first one to admit that I completely judged them for their doubt. I sat there feeling very self righteous, thinking to myself, that I would never have doubted Him if I were them.

 

Then it hit me. Conviction washed over me. I am one of them. I am a follower of Christ. For about two years now I've been actively writing down answered prayers. Recently I pulled out 12 pages of answered prayers. He has answered more than 400 prayers (of the ones I've written down) in two years. How blessed am I to have a God who listens to my pleas and answers. I will tell you that there are answers on those pages that I didn't like. However, I asked Him to answer. His will was done. How many times has God shown me His grace and His power.

With all of those answers, and all of the promises in His word, one would think that I would never doubt God. Yet weekly, I find myself asking Him to prove to me that He's going to do what He promised. I'm so thankful for a God who forgives. I'm also thankful for a God who loves me and puts up with my doubt. That is where unconditional love comes in. He has done nothing to lose my trust in Him. Just like the disciples that I so quickly judged and laughed at, I have been hesitant and doubtful. A change needs to occur in my heart. I have proof of His trustworthiness and it's time that I put ALL of my trust in Him. If you want proof that He fulfills His promises, get on your knees and pray. Then watch what He does because I can tell you that seeing Him work is the most incredible part of this life that we've been given.