All of My Trust

For some time how the Lord has been nudging me to get back to writing my testimony. I've been ignoring that and telling myself that no one needs to hear about my little testimonies. I was reminded why I began this blog. It wasn't to preach, it wasn't to build myself up, it was to share what real life is like as a believer. It's messy and confusing and it's not always happy. As Christians we often believe that when we go through times of sorrow, we are not trusting the Lord enough. I mean, they say our joy has to come from the Lord, so how come I couldn't find that joy. That's how the enemy takes hold of us. Through lies like that. Over the past year, I have fallen into that thought process. I felt that I couldn't share my testimony because here I was, not being joyful. 

 

The Lord has been tugging on my heart, sometimes more clearly than other times. I'm going to share with you one thing that hit me pretty hard and has weighed heavy on me while trying to process what the Lord wants me to do with this information.

I attended a conference the other day, and the speaker began to talk about the eleven disciples heading to the mountain in Galilee . They were to wait there for Jesus. This is the place where He would give the Great Commission. Matthew 28:16-17 reads:

 

"Then the eleven disciples left for Galilee, going to the mountain where Jesus had told them to go. When they saw Him, they worshiped Him, but some of them doubted". 

 

I was baffled by the last part of verse 17. They had been with Him for three years at that point. They had seen Him walk on water, heal the sick, feed the 5,000 and so many more miraculous things. To me I scoffed at the disciples. How dense can you be to see all of that and still not believe? I mean come on. I will be the first one to admit that I completely judged them for their doubt. I sat there feeling very self righteous, thinking to myself, that I would never have doubted Him if I were them.

 

Then it hit me. Conviction washed over me. I am one of them. I am a follower of Christ. For about two years now I've been actively writing down answered prayers. Recently I pulled out 12 pages of answered prayers. He has answered more than 400 prayers (of the ones I've written down) in two years. How blessed am I to have a God who listens to my pleas and answers. I will tell you that there are answers on those pages that I didn't like. However, I asked Him to answer. His will was done. How many times has God shown me His grace and His power.

With all of those answers, and all of the promises in His word, one would think that I would never doubt God. Yet weekly, I find myself asking Him to prove to me that He's going to do what He promised. I'm so thankful for a God who forgives. I'm also thankful for a God who loves me and puts up with my doubt. That is where unconditional love comes in. He has done nothing to lose my trust in Him. Just like the disciples that I so quickly judged and laughed at, I have been hesitant and doubtful. A change needs to occur in my heart. I have proof of His trustworthiness and it's time that I put ALL of my trust in Him. If you want proof that He fulfills His promises, get on your knees and pray. Then watch what He does because I can tell you that seeing Him work is the most incredible part of this life that we've been given.