Lately, well I guess for a long time now, I've noticed a common statement that a lot of people make. Its the statement that they never feel like they are enough, whether that be, good enough, worth enough, special enough, noticed enough, loved enough etc. Its a peculiar thing, because being "enough" isn't really a by the book emotion, yet I myself feel that same feeling. I was wondering where it came from. At what age does a person begin to feel like they aren't enough? At what age did I begin to feel that I wasn't enough? I've watched and talked with some kids who in elementary school already feel like they are not enough. I've spoken to adults who feel the same way. There doesn't seem to be a particular age minimum or maximum for this feeling.
I grew up in a family where our parents tried their best to make sure that we were loved and cared for and wanted. Somewhere along the way though, that feeling began. It started small, and as time went on the feeling grew and it became a part of life. I began to feel like I would never be enough for anyone. Which is a dangerous, slippery slope. It's a struggle that I've tried so hard to get rid of but I just can't seem to shake it.
Maybe as you are reading this, you know exactly the feeling that I'm talking about. As I am writing this, so many things are going through my head. I'm already wondering if this post will be enough. If I will get my point across, or just end up sounding like a crazy person with an ability to type. I believe that its partly fear. I am so scared that I won't be enough for anyone, that I don't let anyone in. That way, they won't have the chance to make me feel like I'm not enough for them.
For a few weeks I have really waned to post something. I've had four different topic ideas, and as I began to write them, that fear crept in and took over. So they are all sitting in a draft folder waiting to be finished. As I was getting ready for bed, I was overthinking the week that passed and sat here wondering if I was ever enough for anyone this week. I worried that maybe I was too much of a burden, or that I required too much attention. Then it all washed over me. I was reminded that I am not alone in this battle. That I am not the only one that feels this way sometimes.
All of that sounds pretty depressing and grim, however there's more. There is one person who will never think that I am not enough. One person that I can be completely sure of. That person is the Lord. He accepts and loves us when we are at our best, and when we are at our worst. Even when I want to hide, I cannot hide from Him. He genuinely wants all of us. He gave me amazing parents who love me, but I know some of you don't have that, but you have a heavenly Father who wants you.
Satan loves to use the pain of this world to his advantage. Our sinful nature causes us to fall short, and falling short causes us to feel that we aren't enough. I am here to tell you that you are enough. We cannot fully understand what it means to be enough in this world. We cannot please everyone, and we cannot force others to constantly remind us that we are enough for them. However, God will always remind us that we are enough.
He loves us so much, right from the start. "For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother's womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well." -Psalm 139: 13-14. He hand crafted us long ago. When we hurt, He hurts with us, and when we are joyful, He celebrates with us. Things of this Earth will one day go away. These feelings that we get will be gone once and for all. So hang in there. His promises will be fulfilled. In the mean time know that you are always enough for God and remember that He is more than enough for you and me.
The most comforting thought for me, is that God knows when I am feeling like I am not enough. He is already there with me, finding ways to remind me of who He is and what He can do. He reminds me that I am enough for Him, and that if I hang on long enough, healing will come and the feeling will go away. Find your joy in the Lord and rest on His saving grace.
