Excitment.

The Lord has blessed me with many things. Of those things is the Upward Sports ministry program that came to my church seven years ago. We run a basketball league that my mom is the director for. This is the first year that she is the sole director and everything has gone well so far. We went from having maybe 110 kids in the program last year, to having 164 kids this year. That is 164 people and their families that will hear about God's love for the next eight weeks. I am overly excited to begin season number eight in the morning. I am happiest during this season because not only do I get to play the sport that I love, I get to do it in the house of God and play it while glorifying his name. Upward is an amazing ministry that everyone should check out once in their lifetime. All night I have been desperately praying for the snow outside to stop so that we are able to have Upward tomorrow. I have come to the realization now, that everything is in God's time. If God wants us to have Upward tomorrow, (which I hope he does) then we will. It is a blessing to be able to have the emotion that I feel about this upcoming day. To gather that many people in the Lord house under circumstances of God through sports is something I may never fully understand. I am grateful that I am able to be a part of this amazing program that has brought so many people to God. I'm not sitting here telling you that everything in life is perfect with God, but I am going to tell you that he will make your life exciting and joyful, as long as you choose to follow the path that he has set for you. I choose to listen to his commands, and if they say that tomorrow there's no Upward, then I must accept it.

Persistance.

Today I found myself wanting to give everything up for a day of sleep. I almost did too. I woke up rather late and then fell back to sleep and had to rush around to get ready for school. We all have good days and bad. Mine was average. I got to go to church and play some basketball, and then I went to praise team practice. With my new outlook on life I feel that I must be positive all the time. Since this concept is kind of new to me, it wears me out. I almost didn't want to write anything today because I'm so exhausted, but here I am because I made a promise to myself and to God that I would blog and do a Bible study every single night. I am slowly learning the lesson of perseverance and dedication to the Lord. He never gives up on us no matter what we do. It's not like we even deserve it, but we get it anyway. As I continue this journey I know that there will be more nights, where I feel like I have nothing to write, or I think that I am too tired, but this is my commitment to worshiping the Lord. I keep going because he keeps going. It is our duty as disciples of the Lord to be diligent in everything that we do, and keep it so that we are pleasing God. "He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak." Isaiah 40:29. The Lord will give us what we need to keep going and we should use that to the fullest because its a gift. Because of the Lord I am able to persevere and keep moving forward.

Try Forgiveness and Love.

There are two ways to look at every situation. There is the pessimistic view and the optimistic view. This year through the grace of God I have started looking at the optimistic view and I like what I see. I really am a simple person and I have learned this from reading in scripture and praying. When someone wrongs me, I would like an apology, but if i do not receive one, forgiveness is how I am able to move on so I give it out all the time. When I wrong someone else, I apologize and I always mean it. Sorry is an important word used in many different ways. I will admit that I don't like confrontation, because it leaves me wanted to go back to my pessimistic ways, but I reach out to God and remember the good that awaits me. God has told us to forgive over and over without fail. When I do that, I am able to move on and move forward. I have been faced recently with some dramatic and hurtful situations as I have said before, but I have healed much faster than I even thought possible. God provides everything that we need to get through every trial and tribulation. Yesterday I was questioning myself, and feeling upset at something someone said to me, but I looked up to the Lord and then again opened my Bible and found exactly what I needed, to help me understand what I needed to do. "Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you" Ephesians 4:32. We must forgive because of what God did for us. None of us deserved that forgiveness from God but we got it anyway. So now we are to forgive. Just try it, I feel that through forgiveness I am free to be happy and not worry about who is hurting because of me. The Lord blesses me with peace.

Finding Joy.

Joy is something rare to me. I have realized though, that, that is my fault. I spent so long taking the joy out of everything I did and making it a challenge. Instead of looking at the "brighter" side I always looked at the "dark" side. I became a very angry person toward the end of 2010. I just wanted to sleep, and I knew that I needed to talk to God, but I in a way was blaming him for everything that seemed to go wrong in my life. I began to reject the love that God was giving me and hating that he loves everyone so much. I lost that glimpse of hope to every situation. It was all on me. I stopping worshiping and stopped turning to God. I'm not sure when it was exactly that I "changed" my mood and my life. It was recently that I decided to put God as the main point in my life and rely on him. I have found the hope that I lost and that I was missing. Along with the hope, God has shown me again the love that I should have toward everyone, and though it will take a while, I plan to show that love. The Lord has given me many chances to set my life on this path, and this time I am going to cling to it. I find myself smiling all the time, no out of habit, but because I am able to find joy through everything. The Lord always leaves outlets in the worst situations and when you reach out your hand he takes it every time, even when you think that he isn't there he is. "Make us glad for as many days as you have afflicted us, for as many years as we have seen trouble." Psalm 90:15. The Lord will show us joy through pain and trial, and right now I am found happy through all of the tribulations that are facing me. I thank God for giving me joy.

Hang On.

Over vacation I found myself digging deep into scripture and heading strait to the Bible anytime a situation aroused. I was reminded today of the difficulties we Christians face in public settings. In this case, I'm speaking of school. I felt that I was growing so much in my spiritual life over Christmas break, and then I was thrown back into the reality of this secular world. It was a hard lesson today, that did not come without some battles. It's easy to follow all of the rules set out for us when we are not around our friends, but when I entered the doors to my public school today I was faced with the temptations that come with being a teenage girl. I am tested daily on my walk when I am offered the chance to gossip about someone who has wronged me, or make fun of the people who are "different". The thing is, we as Christians are supposed to be "different". We are to act with Christ-likeness. This is growing ever difficult. I was frustrated today taking a test and I wanted to storm out in anger and not take the test, but I decided to pray instead, and although I may have not passed the test as well as I wanted, I was able to calmly think. Dramatic situations arise all the time around us. Rumors can be heard at least once a week about each and every person, but it's the way you handle these rumors and these moments of trial that define your walk. We cannot let the people around us pull us away from the path to God. We have to stand our ground and fight for what we believe, this goes along with witnessing too. We are to be the example for Christians and for the work that the Lord has done. We sometimes feel that we are the only one going through this battle, but every Christian who knows the path that they are on, have these feelings at some point, it's up to you to find them and maybe become a support for each other to make it through with your head on straight. "It is God who arms me with strength  and makes my way perfect" Psalm 18:31. This to me explains it all. God has provided us the strength to make it through, so we will keep hanging on.

Spreading the Word.

The message that I received in Sunday school, and the sermon that was given in church, were about evangelism. This to me is reassurance from God that I am headed in the right direction. Though a week is not a long time, I have used it to grow in my faith, and realize that through God I have the ability to spread his word. Scripture says, "For he has rescued us from the domination of darkness and brought us into the kingdom of the Son he loves, in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of our sins." Colossians 1:13-14. This is a gift that was given to us. We are promised an eternal life in heaven with Jesus. We already know where we are going, and it is now our job to help others. Everyone deserves a chance to at least hear the word of God and be given the chance to find God. If we don't do our part and share the word, how will anyone else get to God? We do not need to worry about our sins because they are forgiven. Just because we share the word, does not give us any less of a sinful nature than the person receiving the message. Everyday we are faced with good opportunity to praise God and let his name be heard. I am not saying that we should take the bible and throw it at people, but when someone notices that you are different and they wonder why, explain to them of the glory of God. Some may listen and other will be skeptical of you, but someday they could look back and remember what you told them and maybe then they will find God. Your job is not to total how many lives you save by turning them to Christ, but to simply share the message that has saved your life and promised you an eternity of happiness in heaven. The first thing to do always is pray, and then, just go where you feel the Lord is leading.

Back To Life.

This winter break has been a time of reflection and relaxation for me. It was a break from the weekly tests, and the high school drama (to an extent). I spent time with the people that I love, and it was peaceful. I felt that I had more time to spend with God, and time to feel good about life. As we head back to school and others back to work, I'm feeling some anxiety. I am nervous to go back to school and face the test that is waiting, and to fall right back into step with high school drama. I fear that I will be sucked away from God. I have to remember, however, that I am stronger than that. I have the Lord and just because I will become busier does not mean that I will loose my time with him. I will use my favorite popcorn prayers. They will help get me through all of the trivial things that interupt my day. Tomorrow is the Lords day, so I will take my prayers to the alter because I feel closest to God when I am there. Until then I will continue to read into his word. He gives me the comfort that I need to keep going through all of the things that cause me this anxiety. "Do not be anxious about anything but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus" Philippeans 4:6-7. God promises not to leave us with anxiety, and I put my trust in him. Happy New Year. And make a fresh start.