Finding Joy.

Joy is something rare to me. I have realized though, that, that is my fault. I spent so long taking the joy out of everything I did and making it a challenge. Instead of looking at the "brighter" side I always looked at the "dark" side. I became a very angry person toward the end of 2010. I just wanted to sleep, and I knew that I needed to talk to God, but I in a way was blaming him for everything that seemed to go wrong in my life. I began to reject the love that God was giving me and hating that he loves everyone so much. I lost that glimpse of hope to every situation. It was all on me. I stopping worshiping and stopped turning to God. I'm not sure when it was exactly that I "changed" my mood and my life. It was recently that I decided to put God as the main point in my life and rely on him. I have found the hope that I lost and that I was missing. Along with the hope, God has shown me again the love that I should have toward everyone, and though it will take a while, I plan to show that love. The Lord has given me many chances to set my life on this path, and this time I am going to cling to it. I find myself smiling all the time, no out of habit, but because I am able to find joy through everything. The Lord always leaves outlets in the worst situations and when you reach out your hand he takes it every time, even when you think that he isn't there he is. "Make us glad for as many days as you have afflicted us, for as many years as we have seen trouble." Psalm 90:15. The Lord will show us joy through pain and trial, and right now I am found happy through all of the tribulations that are facing me. I thank God for giving me joy.