Leters Of Forgiveness.

This coming week I am writing a letter. This letter will be part of my healing process. It is the last thing standing in the way of my full relationship with the Lord. About six months ago something happened, and a relationship with fellow Christians was ended. It was the hardest thing that I have ever gone through. God's people left me. I spent many night crying, and pleading with the Lord to bring them back to me. Every time I saw them I was brought to tears again. I blamed the Lord for a while. I thought that He had let His people hurt me this badly. I was angry and frustrated. When I got back into the word and into prayer I realized that none of it was the Lord's doing. He is now using that in my life to make me stronger now, emotionally, and spiritually. I know what real spiritual warfare is. Although I lost people that I love, I am blessed to be where I am today. I am at more of a peace. I am not however healed. I have not totally given myself to the Lord because I harbor anger and resentment at those people. Even the mention of their names sparks this bitterness that I don't want to feel anymore. After I feel that bitterness I feel guilt because I know that again I have not given every part of me to the Lord. He expects us to ask for forgiveness and hand out forgiveness.

My least favorite part of the Bible is in Matthew 18:21-22, "Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, 'Lord how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?' Jesus answered, 'I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.' " This passage annoys me because I feel that it is the hardest thing that God has ever asked us to do. This anger and hatred eats away at me and Satan is thriving in it. I need to put it to an end. The Lord has commanded that I forgive my brothers every single time that they sin against me, and I hope that they can do the same. I do not expect things to ever be the way that they were, but I do hope that through forgiveness, I can be through with these ungodly emotions and grow closer to the Lord.

So this week I write. I will write my letter and send it, in hopes that I will be blessed with healing through the wondrous hands of the Lord.