Day Three

Today was my first day “off” in a few weeks. I may only have classes two days a week but I am always busy on the other three days of the week. This morning I was finally able to sleep in yet I still woke up at eight. I got myself back to sleep but my dreams ended. I laid in bed for a while thinking about all of the things that I had to get done today. There was a lot to do and I am not done with it yet. I am slow at doing homework because I like everything to be perfect before I will consider it done. I put a lot of pressure on myself to get my work done in a timely manor. Take this blog for example, I have written out blogs for all of the days that you don’t see posts for because I felt rushed and I didn’t want to put them online before I was happy with what I wrote.

I judge all of the work that I do because I have this weird fear of disappointing people all of the time. I pull away from people before they have the ability to be disappointed in me and it has worked for me in the past. However, I feel like it is time for me to actually say that out loud to another person (or online). The truth is that the one person I really don’t want to disappoint is God. Above all His disappointment in my sin is what keeps me on this war path of being a better person and being the best that I can be at everything that I do. Sure I mess up (a lot) but that doesn’t mean I am not trying to be better than the person I was even just a few minutes ago.

Please don’t misunderstand what I am saying about my relationship with Christ. I am not saying that I spend all of my time worrying about how I will disappoint God next, and God does not sit up in heaven waiting to be disappointed in me. That is not how the relationships work. Sometimes for me it seems that I take one step toward the right direction and then something happens and I take two steps back. This is in my own personal opinion, but it doesn’t mean that I have gone completely off the path that God has set for me. All that it means is that I lost my sense of direction suddenly and I have to be redirected with forgiveness. 

I have gone back to one of my favorite verses for today and I want to share it with you. It is a pretty well known verse but it is worth sharing time and time again. 

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.^" Philippians 4:6-7

No matter what God grants forgiveness. Today I found that through music and through time alone and time with God. This is one of those days for relationship building and healing. I would definitely recommend a day like I had today. Keep up the challenge and keep up the good work.