Two Years Later

Two years ago today my life changed course. Things were going great for me. I felt like I was on top of the world. Yes, I was in pain but I didn't care at that point because I was just loving life and loving my senior year of high school. I had made all of these plans and I knew which college I wanted to go to and I was leading the yearbook and enjoying my music. I pushed my surgery to February because I had so much else to do during the holiday season. Now I know that some of you have heard this story before but I want you to see this in a different light. I want you to try to see the big picture and see how I got here today.

For those of you that don't know, I went in on this day two years ago to have a pretty simple surgery to prevent my knee from continuing to dislocate. I was nervous but I calculated and figured out that I would be out of school for two weeks and then I would be back in and ready to finish what I started. What I didn't know was that this surgery would become a nightmare that I could never wake up from. The surgery itself went fine but my body did not like that it was tampered with and decided to work against me. I ended up back in the hospital a week later but this time I went there to stay. I had a second surgery to remove the large blood clot that formed behind my knee cap.

I was in the hospital for a week. I can't remember much of it, except that I was in pain, and more pain than I had ever felt in my entire life. Mom was by my side every step of the way and that is about all I can recall. I wish that I could forget the pain and I wish that it could never have happened but it did happen. Up until now the most that I have ever gotten from this situation was learning who my real friends were and who left me the second I needed someone to lean on.

I cannot believe that another year has gone by. I have so much to be thankful for though because within the last year I finally was able to walk on my own after needed crutches and a brace for over a year. I don't need my wheelchair and I can walk up the stairs all by myself. To you that may seem like something I should have been able to do since I was a baby but I lost all control of my leg and my muscles. When I couldn't walk I began to forget what it feels like to be "normal". I was always that poor little kid who went out to have surgery and never came back.

God has brought me farther than I could have ever imagined. I am so grateful to be able to look back now and see how far I came. My faith was tested more than I ever wished but I believe that I have finally past it. I am still in so much pain but I no longer sit here and blame anyone or blame God for the way that things turned up. God is good and it is with His strength that I am walking around and finally healing.

Isaiah 41:10 

"So do not fear, for I am with you;
    do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you;
    I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."