I am finally done with the pressure of school (for now). I studied hard all semester and it paid off in the end. Looking back, the semester came and went before I could blink. I wasn't sure if I would be at this school still after my freshman year, but here I am on top of my game. God had a plan, and a year ago, I couldn't see that plan and I wanted to give up and walk away before any further damage could be done to me. However, no matter how much I hated it here last year I knew that I had to come back. God came through for me again and my situation at school was much better this year. I have actually grown closer to the Lord through being here and listening to Him.
This semester was better in terms of living condition and friendships, but it did not go well in many any other ways. I have never faced a class that gave me as much trouble as this math class but because I liked all of my other classes there was a balance that kept me going. Emotionally this semester has been a roller coaster. It started off very well in September and I was happy almost all of the time. I was praising God and loving my life. Then I was stopped in my tracks when in the middle of the semester my baby sister was taken from us to move somewhere else. That loss has haunted me since the day that it happened. It greatly effected my academics and my morale. There was and is an overcast of sorrow that I can't shake.
It made me feel very alone here at school. The only place that I didn't feel alone was at home or at Church, but I live at school so it's hard to spend tons of time at Church or at home during the week. It was hard to grieve when I had so many other responsibilities. I spent a lot of time in the Word about this issue and I have written many posts on it throughout the second half of this semester. For a while I started to forget what it was like to be truly happy. I didn't know where to turn or how to get help, so I continued to cry out to God for help and for comfort. It took a while me to realize that He had been sending me comfort all along.
One of my classes was about interpersonal communication and we covered all of the topics that were affecting me at the time. I was given an answer but it took time to see how it applied to me. Using my loss and my knowledge of grieving I was able to gain a new perspective on my situation and others situations.
The end to this semester is like my end to the painful loss that interrupted my studies. Every picture on my wall is left behind for an entire month and all of the tears that I cried can dry and disappear. I can continue to dwell on everything that has gone wrong this semester or I can listen to what is written in the Word.
"I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us. For the creation waits in eager expectation for the children of God to be revealed." Romans 8:18-19
We have a promise, right in front of us, that glory will be revealed to those of us who wait for it and stand firm in faith. For me, the way I see it is that by ending this semester I get a fresh start with a focus on the glory that God will, and has brought to me. We have so much to be hopeful for but that hope can be clouded by our hurt and our suffering. I challenge you, on this day to look back at your "semester" or back at the year is passing us by. In doing that I have been able to see some of the glory that has been worked into my life. The path of the Lord is the path to the glory of the Lord, and we have a choice to make yet again. Are you going to take this fresh start and choose your own path? or Are you going to turn to God and take His path of glory?
No comments:
Post a Comment