The Piece of the Puzzle

I just sat in my class after getting a grade that I didn't like and was told that this is the time of year where students either get better or give up. The professor said that there are students who do well all semester but when Christmas comes around they lose their focus and they are to excited about the holiday season and they tank their final exams. It was kind of like a slap in the face because that is me in a way. With everything that has gone on in the past month I have put my focus on Christmas and on trying to be happy. I am still not sure if that was a message to me from the Lord but it is a message that is stuck in my head.

I have never faced this problem before. I have always been focused and driven to success in school. Christmas was just the cherry on top of my good grades, hard work and effort. This last month has brought me loss, sorrow, anger and emptiness. I have been trying to put the pieces back together by using Christmas as the glue. Now I feel as if I have gotten to the end of the puzzle and realized that I am missing a piece and can't finish it. I focused on being in the Word, and being a good friend, and a support. I have focused on trying to look at the bright side of everything except for this upcoming testing season.

I have never done well on any tests but some how I always pulled through. I have always had to go the extra mile to do well on tests and exams. I am the crazy person who forgets to eat because all I can think about is finishing my note cards. This year for one of my classes that I am having trouble in, before tests and exams I even go to a tutor just so that I can hopefully do well on the tests. However, this is the end of that class and I am not doing as well as I hoped. I can't blame this lack of focus on my loss because I know better than to let that get in the way of my school work, but somehow it did. I lost sight of what I needed to get done.

I want to put my full heart into every single thing that I do but I have worn thin and I realize that its time to choose where my focus needs to be right now but its not an easy thing to do. I am overwhelmed with so many emotions and so many things that I need to accomplish before this year is over. I hate that I cannot do everything that I want to do or that others need me to do. I am the person who loves to help and if I can't even help myself right now I don't know how I can effectively help others. The stress of handling this load is causing me to lose sleep. It is also causing me a lot of physical pain and sickness that won't go away. There are days where I want to stay in bed because I know that when I get up something will remind me that I have no completed what needs to be done. I have not gotten the grade that I wanted, even after I worked harder than I ever had to get that right.

The only thing that has brought me comfort today is this verse from the book of Matthew.
 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” Matthew 11:28-30

The only rest that I will find is through the Lord. He is the only one who can keep me focused and give me the tools to make it through this time. The weight of my worries have gotten far to heavy for me and its time that I turn it over to Him. He has a plan for all of this but I was so consumed in everything that has happened, that I forgot that He can lift this weight off of me and help me keep on going. 

A thousand thought have filled my head since I heard what my professor said. I needed some sort of direction and I imagine that I am not the only person who has a large load that they are carrying at this time of year. This time of year is a time where we really need to buckle down and not lose focus. I am going to challenge you and I to do something that may serve as a reminder to us. Take a sticky note or a piece of paper and draw a puzzle piece on it and cut the piece out. Then write something that you need to buckle down and focus on in order to complete the puzzle of your busy life. If it is more than one thing than cut out more than one piece. If it works for you spread it and lets give each other the love and support that we need from each other and from the Lord.