With classes behind me, finals are in front of me. Due to the fact that classes were over I was able to stay home an extra day this weekend and help my mom out with the kids. I love being home and I love being up with the kids before they go to school. In order for mom to catch a break this morning and get out of the house, I had to get up way earlier than I wanted to so that I could get the kids ready for school. They are in afternoon kindergarten so I had a lot of time to spend with them and to entertain them. For me, watching the kids and getting them ready is like playing house. For that amount of time that mom isn't home the house gets run under my care. It sounds scary for my mom to leave the house in my care right? Well I can assure you that I run a pretty tight house (I learned from the best). It was sort of like an answer to a prayer that I shared with people last week. I was needed for that time, and I was able to be a part of something bigger than myself. I was able to help someone that I loved and have fun at the same time. That is not really the topic but I figured I would share my answered prayer.
When I am home I love to do art projects with the girls. I have this favorite website that has craft ideas for all of the different seasons, and for all different types of craft materials that you may have laying around. It is focused around the age of my twin sisters so it is my reference whenever I am home. They love doing crafts and I love watching them create and imagine and learn. My mom taught us so much through crafts when we were younger and it was such an effective tool for my other sister and I and it has stuck with me. No matter how much the twins drive me crazy, or misbehave, the second I pull out craft materials something changes in all three of us. They turn off their attitudes, put on a smile and are genuinely excited to see what I have planned. Today both of them were very happy and excited that I was home so I decided to sit down with them and talk while we worked on our puppets and Christmas tree.
As I was telling them about today's project and teaching them how to make the hand-print tree they both got really excited and both said that it was going to be a surprise for mommy. They worked so hard on this little project and when mom called they begged me not to tell her about what we were doing because they wanted to see her face when she got home. While we were waiting for her arrival I was making small talk with one of the twins the other one picked up an ornament that had been sitting on the counter. The ornament was a picture of our baby that we made last year. She picked it up and was looking at it and then turned to me and asked me if I missed the baby.
I was speechless at that point. She asked me again and I turned my attention to her and told her that I missed the baby so much and then I asked her if she missed the baby. While she was answering me I was reaching into a drawer to get something and trying to turn my face away from them so that I didn't cry. When I looked back up, the other twin looked at me and softly said that I looked sad. She proceeded to ask me why I looked so sad. I couldn't believe that she could read my face that well. I was even smiling so that they wouldn't think they said something wrong, but there I stood being read clear as day by a five year old. I told her that I just really wish our baby still lived with us because I missed her so much. Before she could respond to me, the other twin looked at me and said, "Lizzie! It's okay I miss her too, but we will see her again I promise!".
I almost added an I hope so in there but realized that I was talking to a five year old. While I was quickly processing all I thought was that she was five and couldn't make any promises to me because she doesn't understand what has happened or what is happening. While I was thinking negatively, the other twin added in by saying, "Lizzie, it's okay to be sad because we miss her and we love her, and maybe she will come back one day". I completely froze at that point. I didn't say a word and neither did they. I stopped thinking that they were only five, and I stopped pretending like I was teaching them because that whole time, they were really teaching me.
I have been praying and seeking comfort through all of this. Everyone had advice for me and mostly it was that things would get better and that I should look at the good things in life. I was told to look at how lucky I was, and to remember that it was all part of God's plan. While I knew all of that and while I heard every word of it, it was not comforting, in fact it made me feel worse about the way that I have been feeling. Then these two little girls who appear to know so little about the situation but say what I have needed to hear for an entire month. I truly believe that God was working through these two beautiful little girls today in a way that I would have never guessed. I finally heard the words that comforted me and made me feel like it was finally okay for me to be sad and to be upset still.
God will always surprise me with His timing and with the way that He answers me, but I can promise you that He does answer. He is listening and no matter how long it takes don't lose faith because God knows what you need to hear, or what you need to have happening in your life. When you pray, above all, pray with the assurance that He will respond to you. It is hard to wait and it might be painful but look out because God's answer can come in all shapes, sizes and ways. Today I was blessed with comforting words from two people who, until today, did not know how deep my sorrows went. Trust in the Lord because He hears you, and He loves you. Have faith and keep on praying.
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