Trapped

Have you ever had a dream where you are stuck somewhere and all you want to do is leave but you can't find the way out? I have, many times. It is really horrible when that dream because somewhat of a reality. I am not saying that we are literally getting trapped somewhere but emotionally and figuratively speaking we do get trapped. From the outside it seems like there is always an easy way out but the person who is stuck just doesn't see it. Put yourself in the other person's shoes and you see that in distress nothing is clear. For me, its like I am in a room and I know that there is a way out but I cannot see through darkness.

The logical thing for a believer to do is call out to the Lord and ask Him to show you the path. I have so much to do, that its like I wrote that down on a list to remember to do it later when I finish what I need to get done. Today in particular I was trapped in the dorm room all day with nothing to do but sleep and study. To you that sounds ideal but for me it was frustrating to have all of those hours to think about everything that I have been feeling and everything that I still needed to accomplish. I have another daunting task that is distracting me from my studies but I can't get it out of my head. I sit here and wish that I could just go home and give up on all of this because right now I don't care about school I care about feeling happy again.

There are two places that I am able to clear my head the best of all of my worries. The first is at my church while no one else is there I am able to work through everything with God. The other place is in my car driving around. I thought that maybe if I took a break from studying to take a drive to the store I would be able to clear my head some but that just made it worse. While I was at the store there was a baby that was crying out la la which is what our baby called me. I tried to ignore it because I felt silly for letting that bother me but I couldn't get it out of my head. I can't focus because all I have on my mind is that baby that I lost. Now my drive to be home is even greater than it was before my little road trip.

I am so confused at what my purpose is right now and what I am supposed to be doing here. It seems like my pile of things to do is growing larger and larger and I have no idea what to start with because I fear if I start with the wrong thing it will all come crashing down. I have not been able to put in as much time in the Word as I have other days and I feel like I am trapped here. I have called upon the Lord for help but I fear that with all of the noise that my thoughts have created, I won't be able to hear Him when He answers me or that I won't be able to find my way out of this mess to follow Him.

I was led to this verse which I believe fits with everything that I am trying to say about my situation.
"Turning your ear to wisdom and applying your heart to understanding— indeed, if you call out for insight and cry aloud for understanding^,  and if you look for it as for silver and search for it as for hidden treasure, then you will understand the fear of the Lord and find the knowledge of God. For the Lord gives wisdom; from his mouth come knowledge and understanding." Proverbs 2:2-6

My worries are acknowledged through that verse but are also responded to. When God is ready to give me the understanding that I need to stop being trapped, I will hear Him because in my heart I am waiting for that response. Even when we are trapped or feeling trapped the only way out of that feeling is through the Lord. There is no way that I can make these feelings go away without guidance from the Lord. As I face this struggle I pray that I do not go at it alone. I cannot face it alone and neither can you. We need the Lord and He is our only light in the dark room.