Summer is a time full of weddings. I am of marrying age and many of my friends are married with families, even my little sister is engaged ready to be married. It's not like I haven't noticed that I am still single. Usually it would be the parents job to ask when I am getting married, but not in this house. In this house its the 7 year old that questions me. Every time we watch a "romantic" (well as romantic as a children's movie can get) she turns to me and asks me why I'm not married. My response is always I don't know.
I have to be honest and say that there are many times after she asks, that I turn to God and ask Him why I'm not married. Envying is talked about in the Bible and its not a good thing to feel. However, I am human therefore I am a sinner. Every time I see someone my age get engaged or married I am happy for them for a moment but at the same time I always turn and say, when's it my turn?
As I have said in the past, my family had the amazing opportunity to raise a baby for a year. At that point I was already an adult and I was in college. My role in the babies life wasn't like a sister, nor was it like a parent, I was somewhere in-between. When we lost her I felt like I lost a part of my heart, it has since healed a great deal but the pain is still there. What I envy more than marriage is when people my age have children. Beautiful, healthy, happy children who will not be taken away from their families.
This is something that I have been dealing with for such a long time. I know that I am young but in my heart, I know what I desire. I also know that right now God sees my entire future. I don't know when I will be married, nor do I know if I will be blessed with children, but what I do know is that God has all of the answers and that someday soon I will learn that plan! This is why I continue walking the path that I am on because the other path is far to depressing.
Sometimes God sends me little reminders about living in the present rather than wishing so hard for the future. He does this through the children in my life. I am blessed with so many opportunities to care for others children and I have had the opportunity to raise a set of beautiful twins for three years now. I don't know any of their futures but what I do know is that each and every one of them has a love for Christ, it is an unconditional, beautiful, magical love that is so hard to explain but so visible.
Between the singing, dancing and playing there is not much time left to dwell on what I don't have because what I do have is giggling away in front of me. There is nothing more special than sitting at the breakfast counter (or table) and hearing the kids begin to pray on their own or sing a church song that they had heard many days ago.
As believers we cannot just focus on saving the older unbelievers. Our attention should also be on the children and instilling in them the love that we feel for Christ. We must let them see the glory of God in our lives. Share with them the blessings of God and let Him work in their lives as well. Children are truly a gift from God and we need to nurture this gift whether they're your children or not they are all children of the One True King and its time to realize that they are such a blessing.
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