Every year the kids come home from school with a paper that is requesting foster families. All around I see signs and poster advertising to potential foster families. My family is one of those families that took notice and decided to sign up for foster and adoptive care. At the time I was only about 13 years old, to me, foster care meant having a new kid in the home that we could play with. My parents went through training and we were placed with a four year old. It was my picture perfect dream life. I begged my mom to let me help take care of her and I did.
She got up for daycare, I got up for school and I would help get her all ready and organized for the day. She was my little sister and that's all I understood. Then one day (it had been coming) the state came and took her from me (us). I still remember that day as she looked through the back window of the car waving goodbye with a sad look on her face. That was the first real loss that I ever suffered and I blamed the state. With that child in particular, it worked out in the end because she was reunited with her mom and they are doing fantastic.
Then there was another. We ended up adopting her and again I was thrilled, its just what I always wanted. The state started calling us in to classes where we would speak about the greatness of foster care and adoption. Soon after the adoption we learned that the child had a mental illness that prevented her from bonding to the family and that caused her to have anger outbursts. The state, who had loved us so much, would not help. No matter how long we begged. We begged for them to help her heal and still nothing. This went on for three years. At that point I was already fed up with this government.
Following the adoption of the third child we were placed with a set of twins, who also had the same problems that the other child had. However, in my head it didn't matter because they were only 3 1/2 and I couldn't understand how a child that young could already have mental health issues. Following the twins, we received a baby. She was a beautiful, perfect gift from God. I believe that she was part of our answered prayer at the time. She had no issues at all, she slept, she ate, she played and she loved. She brought a new sense of love into our home.
She was removed from our home after a year. Now many people were quick to say that these kids were only foster kids. I have been told that I shouldn't love them all as much as I do. However, most of these kids had never even experienced love so they didn't care which way I loved them. I will not let anyone tell me how to love or not to love a child of God. It has taken me a long time to cope with being placed with children who need loads of therapy and are violent but you don't just give up on children of God.
In talking with other foster moms recently it has become apparent that the state, though they are still begging for new families, does not treat their current families very well. When you ask for help, help is not there, when you pour you time, love and effort into the kids it doesn't matter. I can't imagine being part of a family who does foster care without also knowing that God is our Savior. Each loss, no matter how long you have had the child or children is still a loss. We have to trust that God had them with us for a purpose and for a reason. God has called us to help shape the children and bring them up in the way of the Lord. This is not only true for biological children but adopted and foster children as well.
I have to admit that unconditional love is something that I still struggle with but I can't find any other reason for all of those kids to be placed in our home, other than by the grace of God. The state isn't going to change, nor do I see them helping in the future so its time to turn to God. I say it so often and its a really hard thing to do but what is the point of all of this mess, if it isn't to glorify God and take care of His children.
Today I personally would like to say thank you to all of the foster/ adoptive moms and dads out there who are battling with the state. Its a lot like spiritual warfare and if you don't have on the right armor (the armor of Christ) then you are bound to lose. So together we stand, not backing down or giving up because this is the work of God that we are doing and we have to remember that we aren't doing this for the state, we are doing this for the precious children that God brought to this earth.
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