To Love Conditionally.

Growing up, I had this one Uncle that always bothered me. I judged his appearance and his life style. My mom used to sit me down every once in a while to explain to me the importance of unconditional love. I hated that word, "unconditional", it always rubs me the wrong way. I still have trouble loving people unconditionally. I love people sometimes, but then when they hurt me, or do something that I have deemed wrong in my mind, I don't love them at all. This is called conditional love. It when you love people on a situation basis. This is not what the Lord wants me, or anyone else to be doing. I know that He loves us unconditionally, but I still have so much more to learn.

I have spent a long time trying to figure out how I can learn to love unconditionally. It is one problem in my life that I have not given to God. I have moments when I think that I have given it to God, but then that same situation comes up and I have to start all over again. I know that I am not the only one that goes through this, but for a long while I thought that I was. I never wanted to admit to anyone that I have trouble loving others fully. I thought that it made me a bad person. I assumed that people would look at me as if I were cold- hearted. With some people, you will find that they judge you, but there are so many others that have the same issues.

When looking up scripture on this topic, I found many verses that would work, but only one that gave me just what I was looking for. "Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins" 1 Peter 4:8. It made me realize that every time I do not love unconditionally I am focusing on sin. I am hanging onto bad memories and using it against that person in my head. It happens even in my own home. My youngest sister is misbehaving all the time. It bothers me greatly, but I cannot do anything about it because I am not the parent. Then there are times that she is so sweet, and I think that she has changed. It really isn't my decision to make her change. I cannot control her life.

It is so easy for me to say, right now, that I have no control, but in the heat of the moment I want more than anything to "fix her". I hang onto every sin that she creates. I ignore my own sin, and instead focus on everything she has done wrong in my eyes. Right now, I do only love her conditionally. It is a huge problem, but it is a mutual problem. I have tried many times to make myself love her always, but it is not a job that I can do alone. I need to give it to God. I say that all the time, but if I cannot love one of His children, the way He does, then it is by His mercy alone that I am loved. This situation requires work, and honesty. You are not going to be left alone, by admitting that you do not love everyone unconditionally. We are sinful people, but we are also saved. Going to God for help is the first step in the right direction.