Pain is something that I have had my entire life. People have always asked me how my pain feels, and honestly I didn't want to tell them. To this day sometimes I lie because I hate the look of pity. When I was younger my peers always asked me what it was like. The best way I could explain it to them, was to say that the way they feel after a really rough sports practice, is the way that I feel all the time.
I've lived with pain for as long as I could remember. I never knew a life without pain. There were many times where I asked God why it had to happen to me. To this day, when I see kids doing gymnastics or playing a different sport every season. This is not to say that I didn't play sports, but after a few hours of playing I was out of commission for the following week. I have wondered what it would be like to run with the other kids and not worry about the pain that I was going to be in later.
However, I knew nothing but a life of pain. My parents have taught me that no matter what the pain is, its not worth giving up your life for. We have a saying in our house and it goes like this, if you focus your life on pain, pain will control your life, if you push through it, you control your life. It has changed some over the years, but this is how we live.
For years, I was bullied for having accommodations and for needing help. When I was able to drive it took me months to finally agree to get a handicapped sticker. Then it took me even longer to actually use it in a parking lot. A few months ago I was stopped by a police officer because he questioned my disability. Two months after that a man yelled at me for parking in the handicapped spot. People can be really cruel but I have gained a confidence and an understanding of my situation.
It was truly a gift from God that my family and I were introduced to the Arthritis Foundation. Through that foundation I was given the confidence to fight for myself and not let others determine how I live my life. This was derailed some because in my freshman year of college I was bullied again because someone spread a rumor that I was faking pain. Again, through that time I worked with the foundation and grew stronger.
It wasn't until I was older that I began to realize what a gift it was, to never know a life without pain. Using my knowledge from the foundation, and my growing self confidence I was able to speak with kids and young adults that had just been diagnosed. We met someone today that, after living a life playing sports and exercising, was diagnosed with Arthritis and a life of pain.
I do believe that God gives us the life that we live for a purpose. If there is some sort of pain, physical or emotional, God will use it for good if you let Him. It took me a long time to let Him show me the good that can come from the constant pain. I have been able to use my experiences to help others, and while doing that, I am given the opportunity to either introduce them to Christ or remind them that He loves us and that He has a plan for our lives. So during this week try to think about something painful in your life and maybe reach out to someone going through a similar thing. Use your life to show them the love of Christ that is inside of you.
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