Repairing, Rebuilding.

For a few months now, one of my sisters has been acting up. I know that we all lie at some point in our lives. We are not free from sin. I have lied in past times for the silliest things, and I am sure that regrettably I will do it again. The difference between me and my sister, is that when I lie I feel so awful that I "turn myself in". My mom knows me well in that aspect. I rarely lie because I can't live with the guilt. I punish myself internally. I am not here to say that I am perfect, but lying is the one thing that I am better at controlling than other temptations that I fall for.

My sister lies all the time. She lost my trust a long time ago. Recently, however, she has gained it back. When things around the house went missing I didn't suspect her anymore. When she told me a story, I began to believe that it was true. She was getting older, and I knew that it was not my place anymore to keep living in the past, and holding it against her. Then, the other night, something went missing. We turned the house upside-down looking for this object. It was very important and had us all worried that we would never see it again. My sister came down, pretending that she found the object, and when we dug a little deeper, we found out that it was her, that took it.

I felt like I got slapped in the face. I was so proud of her for starting to tell the truth more offten. Well, I was very wrong. She had never stopped lying, I just began to believe the lies. I wanted to slap her, I wanted to tell her to get out of the house. I was so frustrated. It felt like she took my trust in her and threw it back at me. I was hurt and upset. She has started to be mean again too. When she went to her room, in anger, she began to play with my bells. I have collected those since I was in the womb. In a matter of 10 minutes after she went up there, we heard a crash and  some glass breaking. I knew the moment I heard glass shatter, what she had done. I broke down in front of my other sister. I can't walk, I can't check on anything upstairs, I just had to sit here and wait to see the damage.

I know that I am not her parent, but I feel like it sometimes. I try to help her, and I have talks with her to help her, but nothing seems to be working. My mom and I sat with her, and gave her the freedom to tell us anything. I held myself together pretty well I think. Yet still, I have to learn to be patient. She may not be going through anything but a new phase, but I cannot contain, or control her. The Lord explained love to us through the Word. Many people know 1 Corinthians 13, but most people, also see it only concerning relationships and couples. The first part of that verse popped into my head when I was talking with my sister. "Love is patient, Love is kind". Even just those two descriptions are telling us that if we really love, then we need to have patients, and that even with siblings, we need to be kind.

It is so hard to see my sister make bad choices and lie all the time, but it is not my place to get angry and punish her. I am her sister. Just writing this isn't going to change my life, but admitting it is a start. As her older sister, it is my job to check up on her, and help her on her walk with the Lord. I need to show her the love of Christ. Siblings are parts that make up families. We are all parts that make the whole, but we can't do that without the Lord being the glue that brings us together. With the Lord's help, we will be able to repair what has been changed and broken.