When Plans Change.

It is a very difficult to change plans. When you have set plans months in advance and when that date comes around, you have to cancel. I have done that a lot lately. I was supposed to go to a Christian weekend. I was so excited to try something new and be with people that are followers of Christ. I had to cancel, because just a few days before the weekend, I had to go to the hospital again. It seems that I have to cancel all of my plans for the next few months.

This pain, and the surgery have now impacted my decision for college. I have grown close with my mom, and I am having a hard time considering a far away school. I have made lists for all of my choices, and when I am awake, I try to add to them. Today, my mom called the school, and withdrew our deposit. I thought that she was calling to tell them that I wasn't coming to the weekend visit, but she told them that I have decided not to go to that school. When she got off the phone I told her that I didn't mean for her to decline that school. She immediately apologized, and said that she would call them right back and say that she made a mistake, but I almost felt a sense of relief. I have been asking God to help me with this decision, and I think that was the answer to my prayer.

This year I planned the next four years of my life. I saw myself at that school, with my friends and having fun and working hard. With all of my medical issues, I began to question my dream. I began to really consider my back up school. I realized that it was a good school. This college decision is one of the harder ones that I will make in my lifetime. While this decision is being made, I have to think about high school too. I had plans to ace senior year, and be involoved in everything for my class. I now am at home, and I'm taking two classes online, and I can go to school for a few hours every now and then, when I feel up to it.

This has been a long rigorous test of my faith. I was making this year about me, and the plan that I made. Now in the back of my mind I am hearing "not my will, but Yours be done". I realize that the plan is not mine to create. I am supposed to live by the Lords plan. So many of us get wrapped up in the world, and making plans. Our plans will get broken because its not our right to plan our lives. The Lord knows what is going to happen to us in the future, and He sets a path for us. He answers prayers, and leads us in unexpected ways.