Even the Stong Fall Apart Sometimes.

This post is not about a testimony, it's not about me wanting pity, it is me hopefully put this message out there in hopes that if someone feels the way that I feel now, they can know that I am here to be what they need. The prayers that I have received are more than I deserve, but this whole situation, has shown me where everyone's hearts really are.

I am a strong person. It is not my strength, however. It is the Lord. He works through me every single day. When people come to me for advice, I always have something to give them because I go to the Lord and let Him speak through me. I am the first one to offer help, not because I want points of good behavior, but because I want to make other people happy. I never seem to have answers for my own questions, but usually once I ask about five adults I get one answer that fits. I try not to be a bother to people because I know that I always have the Lord. Lately I have been recieving blame for many things. None of which I was remotly involved in. I just let it go, and gave everyone the benefit of the doubt. It really didn't bother me, that my "friends" haven't really talked to me lately. Until now. I was finally forced to let go. I lost control, and I ran out of strength. I am scared. It is the plain truth.

I am medically not okay right now, and today I took two steps back in my recovery. When I finally grasped enough strength to ask for help from people that were around me, all anyone could or would do was apologize. I'm sure that this is a test of my faith and I know that God won't give me more than I can handle, but today, I do not want to try. I want someone else to catch me. My mom was there for me today ready to help me, but she and I are the same size and I would never want to hurt her, so I don't feel comfortable relying only on her. That man today, represented what God is to me. When I had no control over anything, I was scared out of my mind, and I thought that there was no one around to help, he was there. It's symbolic of what God is for us. God sent me that man today, to help me. Although I am in pain, that is one thing that I was protected from.

You may be critical of this post, and I respect that, but I felt the need to share how I feel right now. I need prayer, and I am not afraid to admit it. Sometimes even the strongest of us need someone to take us by the hand and lead us through to better days.