Never Fear! Jesus Is Here!

I have a surgery coming up and it was supposed to be at the end of the month, but now it is at the end of this week. I thought that I had more time to wrap my head around the idea of this whole surgery thing, but now it is frighteningly close and I am not prepared. I am fearful that I will not have all of my homework done in time, and that I will miss class and not catch up to where the other kids are. I worry that I am leaving all of the work that I still needed to get done, to people who are already doing so much. This upcoming week, a lot of my friends are going to be on their various vacations, and I will be alone at home after surgery. Yes my family will be there, but I am going to miss being able to go out with my friends whenever I feel like it. This surgery will of course impair my driving because I will be heavily medicated, and its my leg that is being operated on. I am worried that somehow the doctors will mess up, even though they know what they are doing. It's all scary and new to me. I think that I am relying too much on the prayers that others are giving me, and not my own prayer.

"When I am afraid, I will trust in you. In God, whose word I praise, in God I trust; I will not be afraid. What can mortal man do to me?" Psalm 56: 3-4. The last part of this verse isn't really applicable to me right now, but it will be I'm sure in the future. The first part, however, hits home. I am struggling to let go of my fear, and trust in the Lord that He will keep watch over me while I am on the operating table. My lack of faith scares me! I know that the Lord is prepared, and that this is in His plan, but I can't help but think back to all of the shows on TV where things went wrong. What I need to remember is that first of all, on TV, it is all fake, and two none of those people went into an operation with the Lord holding their hands. I plan to go under the anesthesia, talking with God, so that He is ready for me! I am armoring myself with Him because I know that He will get me through this! It is just one more battle in my life, that I will fight with angels around me, and Jesus in my heart!