My Refuge

The storm came and went faster than it was supposed to but the damage that it left behind is unbelievable. I should start by saying that God has blessed me over and over again. We did not have any major damage and we only lost power one time but then it returned. However a majority of those that we in Sandy's path have lost power or have had some sort of damage. Some have said that I am lucky and I thought about that for a moment, but I am not lucky, I am just blessed.

Yesterday we sat in front of the television to see what destruction has occurred around our state. Streets are flooded, roads are blocked with fallen power lines, schools are closed, homes were lost and lives were lost.  As I watched I kept looking around my house and at my baby sisters. The I turned to the Lord and thanked Him for protecting them. While I was reading articles about the storm online I came across a story that has haunted me since reading it.

There were multiple reported fires throughout the state, but one house fire caught my attention. The first house caught on fire and proceeded to set the house next to it on fire. I do not know if the families were inside of them, or if they evacuated earlier. The article showed a picture of the two houses ablaze and as you look around those houses all you see is water. The street was completely flooded. Those houses burnt to the ground because the firemen couldn't get to the house because of the water. They tried but there was no way to get them through that water and they couldn't put the fire out.

I obsessed over that story for the entire day and I wasn't sure why it bothered me so much. Then today as I was sitting in class I realized that I am afraid. I have had that dream in the past that there was a fire but no one could get to it to put it out. That nightmare became someone else's  reality. I also realized that it parallels a little bit of what I fear in my life with Christ. I have feared that as I am watching my life fall apart, just like the fire, God couldn't get to me and He couldn't save me. Those homes were like me, and the firemen were like God. They wanted to help but they couldn't.

My nightmare that God won't be able to save me from the fire is just that, a nightmare. It is not the truth and it is never going to come true because I have declared that the Lord is my refuge. He is my strength and He has once again protected me. We have been promised that if we declare that the Lord is our refuge,

"No harm will overtake you, no disaster will come near your tent. For He will command His angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways!" Psalm 91: 10-11

Right now for some people it may seem that God let harm come to you, or that His angels did not guard you. However, if you are reading this then He did protect you because you are living. He kept you safe from harm because you made Him your refuge. If you have not made that declaration then take this as an opportunity to do so now. If you already have but are weary as I was, reaffirm that He truly is your refuge. I challenge you to look at your life and realize how many times the Lord has kept you safe and thank Him.

Please continue to pray for all of those that have been affected by this hurricane. Pray for the parents who are trying to entertain their children with no electricity because schools are closed. Pray for each other and help in any way that you can!

The Storm

The impending storm has lingered over our heads for a couple days now. When we faced Tropical Storm Irene we were not ready for the damage that would come. We took it lightly because up here, we are not used to having terrible hurricanes/ tropical storms. Last year it ended up delaying my move in day for school which I loved because at the time I wasn't ready to leave home, but it left my family without power for a while. Homes were destroyed, families were torn apart, and it seemed like there was never enough help. The Lord blessed my family because we did not suffer any great damage.

However, that storm was just a tropical storm. This storm is a full on hurricane, and to make it worse, there is a cold front coming at us as well and when they meet the damage will be catastrophic. I feel like I should be more scared about this terrible thing that is beginning its terror but I cannot help but feel relieved that I am home with my family and with one of my best friends.  This is not what we expected for today, today was supposed to be all about our suite-mate who's birthday is today. I am a little disappointed but I know that there is a purpose for all of this.

I'm not sure how to explain what I am feeling right now, but I don't feel fearful.
"The Lord is my light and my salvation- whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life- and whom shall I be afraid?" Psalm 27:1

I am not in anyway trying to make light of this storm. I know the devestation that it is bringing, but I also have to remember that God has a plan. I cannot sit here fearful of whats coming, when I could be making the best of the time that I have. I have had a terrible week and it hasn't gotten better. When I learned about this storm I laughed because I figured things couldn't get much worse and then they did. The fact that we are now in danger, on top of everything else should make me angry but it actually didn't.

As some of you know or have learned through my blog, we are losing the baby this week. She is going to live with her beautiful baby brother with another loving family. I know that she will be happy but the realization that she's moving out has weighed heavy on my heart. I prayed over and over for God to give me more time. I didn't care that people were telling me to let it go, or that I should have been ready for this. Honestly I was angry with anyone who said that I should have been ready, or that I knew this was coming. I still wasn't ready, but I admit it. I have been praying on my knees every single day that the Lord would give me more time with her. I just felt like my work with her wasn't done yet, or that I failed to keep her safe and with a stable family. I have waited for His answer, it was all that I could think about. I had a plan to go to class and drive home every single day to be with her.

I got my answer. This storm has ended up being a sort of blessing to me. My whole family is stuck in our house for at least two whole days with nothing to do really but have fun. God gave me two whole days to spend with our beautiful little miracle. I will not waste this time with her because it is a wonderful gift. So even when the storm gets scary, I know that God is working in my life. All I can challenge you to do is pray. Not for my family per say, but for all of those that are going to be affected by this storm. Pray that people put their trust in God and remember that He is watching out for us.

There is a very high chance that I will lose power today. I am not sure when it will come back on. If the power goes out I will have no internet access and therefore won't have the ability to blog! Once the power is back I will give an update!! God bless and good luck!

A Song From Above

I have been very frustrated a lot this week. Even today my computer didn't work, I couldn't focus in class, and I haven't finished all of my school work yet. Then I stopped, and remembered that I had bought a new CD last night. Sometimes music speaks the words that I'm always trying to say. I do believe that I did not come across this by chance because I have been praying for some sort of answer to what I am going through. This song provided a sort of comfort. If you don't believe that a song can be that powerful, then I challenge you to listen to it! 

There is a Christian boy band that I fell in love with about a year ago. Their music is very inspirational and sometimes it actually leads me in the right direction. I was listening to their new CD  called "the Struggle" and there was this one song that seemed to capture every single feeling that I have had all week. I decided that rather than write a lot today, I'm going to put the lyrics to this new song in my blog. I strongly suggest that you take a minute and listen to the song. 

The song is: "Stranger's Here" by Tenth Avenue North

I know you're tired of the hurt and the heartache.

You feel like giving in, 

You feel like walking away.

And I know it's difficult, 

Feeling so out of place.

But this is not how it's gonna be.

Your pain is temporary.

We're all strangers here, 

So it's alright if you can't, 

Stop the tears that you cry.

'Cause some day we'll touch, 

The face of our God, 

And the sorrow will disappear.

Until then, we're strangers here.

That's hard to hear if you want to keep chasing, 

This broken world that only keeps your heart breaking.

So it's alright if you can't, 

Stop the tears that you cry.

'Cause some day we'll touch, 

The face of our God, 

And the sorrow will disappear.

Until then, we're strangers here.

This is not the homeland.

We can see the lights from here.

He's making a city, 

Where there are no fears.

And it's drawing near.

Until then, we're strangers here.

We're just strangers here.

We're all strangers here, 

So it's alright if you can't, 

Stop the tears that you cry.

'Cause some day we'll touch, 

The face of our God, 

And the sorrow will disappear.

Until then, we're strangers here.

Strangers here.

This is how I am ending this post today because I want you to finish reading and continue to think about the message that this song speaks.

, 

Losing Sight of the Goal

With everything that is going on in my life I keep wondering what it is that I am supposed to be doing right now. I am living in uncertainty and question. I don't think that I am the only one that faces this, but when you are in the middle of facing tribulation it can get lonely. You don't know where to turn or who to ask for help. It seems obvious to turn to the Lord during times of distress but we don't always remember to turn to Him. We search for someone that will point us in a different direction. For me, it's like I am looking around and all of the doors are closing, and I am frantically looking for the open door.

I see things happening and I can't stop them. My thoughts are consumed with a burning desire to fix everything. I am running out of time and energy and I have lost my focus. Every time I received news this week, it was unpleasent. My emotions are unorganized and my drive has slowed, almost to a stop. I want to give up because that would be easier than fighting through and pushing forward. It would be easy to shut everything out and accept that this is the best my life is ever going to be. If I were to do that, then I wouldn't be me.

There is a verse that I used to have hanging about my light switch and it says,
For God, who said, "Let light shine out of darkness," made His light shine in our hearts to give us the light of the knowledge of God's glory displayed in the face of Christ. 2 Corinthians 4:6

It seems that I am walking through darkness, stumbling on every little bump in the road. Each time that I fall I feel more and more like I don't belong here. Today I realized that one of my stumbling blocks is that I have lost sight of my goals. In school, I am facing challenges with admissions, and schedule and their lack of communication. I am overwhelmed by the amount of garbage that has been dumped on me because the adults in the offices do not show enough kindness to point me in the right direction. It's not fair, and I have let that get in the way of my final goal.

I am here to get a better education and enter the work force with a degree to back me up. The same can be true for my Christian life. I am so tired, and I sit here and continue to ask the Lord when enough will be enough. I don't want to handle anything else but He keeps stacking more things on me. I have put all of my prayer focus on ending my pain and tribulation and not on what I should be focusing. I have lost sight of what I am supposed to be doing as a young Christian woman.

So I am challenging you along with myself to step back and refocus our attention on our goal. What is it that we are doing all of this work for? We are all working toward something, but let's make sure that it is the right goal and the Godly goal. Try writing down your biggest goals that you are working toward and figure out what you need to do to get there. Above all, pray for the light of the Lord to shine through darkness and guide you on this path.

Communication

Communication is something that can make or break relationships. It can make or break the work place, and it can make or stagger your walk with the Lord. There are so many forms of communication that can occur, so what is it that we can't communicate with each other. I've watched people lose their jobs because they took days off without communicating that they were going to do so. I've seen kids fail classes because they missed so many classes and never communicated that they needed help. I have watched couples fall apart because they won't talk to each other and they won't solve any problems by being silent.

We are reaching the time in school where we have to register for the next semester. In order to do that we must go see our academic advisers and discuss what we have to take. For those of us with disabilities we register a little differently than our peers because while choosing classes we have to keep in mind the environment in which we are learning. There is a new person in charge of the disability aspect and now I am facing all of these new challenges that I should not have to be facing.

I am increasingly disappointed in the communication between some of departments at this school. The same is true for a lot of other schools. Different departments reside in the same building but they do not talk to each other. Instead they send us back and forth as making it very hard to get a solid answer to any problems. I have often wondered the reasoning for this lack of communication but again I never got a solid answer, not from the adults any way. When I had the chance to talk to students that work for those departments I was told that they do not have enough time to get everything done for that department to go and converse with the other departments.

My frustration is beyond high right now but there is not much I can do about it by myself. It has gotten me thinking about how this same problem parallels a problem in the Christian life. We are so caught up in our everyday lives and everything that we have to get done, that we have a lack of communication with The Boss. Those that don't pray everyday are like the employee's who take sit leave without telling anyone.   Our communication between ourselves and the Lord needs to be open and constant.

"Open your mouth and taste, open your eyes and see how good God is. Blessed are you who run to Him. Worship God if you want the best; worship opens doors to all His goodness." Psalm 34: 8-9 MSG

Though we cannot control how others communicate we can control how we communicate. The lack of communication that is occurring in my life right now is outside of my control. I am challenging you and myself to let go of the communication lines that we cannot control and focus our time and energy on the Lord. Work on communicating with the Lord because I promise you things in your life will change when you let God in. 

Domino Effect

I am the type of person that likes to have a sense of control over my life. I know that the Lord has complete control but He amuses me and lets me feel like I have some control. I know that I am not the only one that feels this way, and usually its not something that I talk about in normal conversation. I also like to have an end goal or a future idea that I am working toward. However, I am always reminded that no matter what future I plan, its not up to me.

I have noticed that my life is like a set of domino's. I spend so much time setting everything up and making sure that I am following God's plan and His lead. If I don't my theoretical domino's will never stand up. The stronger that my walk gets or the further the build my row of domino's the more I notice Satan trying to knock me down. Over the course of the last week leading up until now, I haven't been as strong and my domino's seem to be falling. You know how domino's work; once one falls it knocks down the next and then the next.

It's like I see them starting to fall and I am turning to God praying for Him to help me stop the domino's but He doesn't seem to be responding fast enough. As the destruction gets seemingly closer I am scared to see the outcome. I know that it sounds ridiculous for me to be feeling like this but it doesn't change how I feel nor does it mean that someone else is feeling the same way. I am here to tell you that feeling this way is not rediculous and those that look at this as a drama need to spend time in prayer. Each of us feels this fear when we start losing control. I start losing my sense of safety and I cling to hope for dear life.

I have a general idea of what is coming and I don't want it to come but that's not in my control. I am really struggling to trust that God is not just going to let my life fall apart. This is where I am supposed to have faith, but its not always so easy to hang on to. This morning while I was begging for an answer or some way to fix everything I looked up at my wall, where there is a sticker that reads, "all things are possible with God". It was a sense of reassurance but it did not last the entire day. 

Looking in scripture today I came across a verse that really said everything that I have been needing to hear.
"When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through tot set you ablaze t be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze. For I am the Lord your God." Isaiah 43: 2- 3.

This does not make the fear disappear but it serves as a reminder that though I feel like everything is spinning out of control, God is still in control. No matter what is coming my way He will protect me. He does the same for you. That is why I am challenging you to honestly praise God in whatever storm you are in. Or pray for another friend that is facing a storm. Even if all of the domino's fall God puts them back up, He has a plan and we can't see it yet but we can breathe because we know that He knows what is happening.

So Shall I Be Saved From My Enemies

Holding my tongue is not something that I am good at when I am angry or upset. I am very good at expressing what I am mad about. Growing up, we are taught the old saying, if you can't say something nice then don't say anything at all. In theory that's a great idea, but when it comes down to it being quiet is not easy. Today for example there was a group of people who were cracking jokes and spewing hate about someone else. I wanted so badly to call those people out on what they were saying but then I had to remember what I have been working on. I remembered my post from last week about the steps to follow when I feel angry. It took a lot of strength and continuous prayer just to sit still and not yell.

There's a battle going on inside of me over what to do with the information that I have gained. The anger built up inside of me every single time those people behind me spoke negatively about their so called friend. I am the type of friend/ sister, who serves as a protector. I think it has to do with being the first born. I have always believed that my role was to look after all of my siblings (at times acting like a second mother... sorry mom). The same is true for my close friends. I tend to tell people that if they mess with the people I love they have to deal with me. I know this is not really the Christian attitude but when I say it I mean it.

If you notice, I do not say what it is that I am going to do if anyone messes with those that I love. That's because I don't know what I am going to do until I speak with the Lord. I sat in my class deep in prayer not paying any attention to my class because I was to emotional and I wasn't listening to the Lord enough. I know I am probably setting a bad example to any other students that read this, but for today I needed to shut out the those people and bring the hurt and anger to the Lord. I honestly am still struggling about what to take from everything that I heard, and I don't know who to tell, or if its worth telling.

When I got back to my room I realized that I forgot to changed my calendar to today's date. The calendar is a verse a day but it was made in a way that you can use it every year. I am going to share with you the verse for today's date, and for anyone that needs proof that God listens and guides, pay attention.

"I will love thee, O Lord, my strength. The Lord is my rock, and my fortress and my deliverer; my God , my strength, in whom I will trust; my buckler and the horn of my salvation, and my high tower. I will call upon the Lord, who is worthy to be praised: so shall I be saved from mine enemies." Psalm 18: 1-3

He is not telling me to completely ignore the situation, but He is promising me strength. That same strength can be given to you if you simply ask. I am not giving up and I am not letting go until the Lord calls me to end this. No one should ever unjustly have to feel like they have done something wrong. In the case that is fresh on my mind, non believers are condemning a believer for having strong morals. I felt with this for a long time myself, and I God is using that part of my life to work in someone else's life. At the time, when others were spreading hate and lies, I could not understand why the Lord wouldn't make them stop. He had a plan and if the whole plan was just to help this one person than I have been blessed. I am proof that we can stand on moral grounds, but only with the strength of God and our trust in God.

I was saved from my enemies through Christ and Christ alone. I have a passion for standing up for those that are being persecuted and showing them the love of God. I am challenging you to look back at a past situation that you overcame with the Lord, and use that knowledge to help someone else. Prayerfully give support, encouragement and love to anyone who is weary. The Lord has called me to be a protector, and He has given me the tools to do so. The same is true for you. Find out what the Lord has called you to do and the tools to complete that calling will be given to you. I have been blessed and its time that I share those blessings with those who are not feeling quite so blessed at this time. 

Priority Check

Lately I have noticed that people are having trouble getting their priorities in order. At some point in our lives we are all guilty of it. For some this can become very harmful to their walk with the Lord. I watch as kids and adults slowly slip away from their devotion time and their overall commitment to live a Christian life. We try to justify why we haven't been completely faithful in studying the word or fellowshipping with other believers, but there is no real justification.

For the past two weeks I have not spent as much time in scripture as I need to. My excuse was that I had to study for my midterms, which was the truth, however that didn't mean that I couldn't sit down and do my devotion. There are always people telling me that I need to have the college experience and enjoy it before its gone. It would be so easy for me to agree with them and go out and "live the life" of a college student, but that's not who I am. Anyone that knows me, knows that I am very good at prioritizing and scheduling, but if I didn't do all of that I'm pretty sure my life would fall apart. I am not saying that I always have my priorities in check because I'm human and I make many mistakes.

I also am a person that worries about everything. I worry about making the right priorities, and follow God's will as much as I can. I worry that if I go out and have fun I will regret it the next day when I have to wake up early and oversleep or when I have to study more since I took a break. In the work place it is the same way. Everyone is worried about getting everything done and doing it right all of the time. This is not how all adults feel but I know many who struggle with prioritizing. As all of these thoughts have been going through my head I was reading in scripture and I found a verse that says pretty much exactly what I am trying to say.

"But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Matthew 6: 33-34

Pay attention to the order of what is being said. The third word is First, not second or third, or after you complete what you want to complete. It says seek first His kingdom. Then following that we are comforted about the worries we have for each new day. It is so important that you and I read in scripture and turn our worries to the Lord.

I challenge you to sit down and write out how you think you prioritize things. What is most important to you and when should that task get done? Where does the Lord fall on your list of priorities. Be honest because no one else is seeing this but you, however God knows your priorities already so this is more of a visual for yourself. I am going to do that as well because we all need a priority check every now and then. God bless and I hope this message helps you.

S-C-R-E-A-M

I am going to share with you acronym that I just learned from my communication lecture. I have to preface it by telling you that I did not create this but I feel that its worth sharing because it relates to my life right now. The acronym is the word SCREAM, it shows us how best to approach something or someone when we are angry. S- Self, C- Context, R- Receiver, E- Effect, A- Aftermath, M- Messages.

As I was writing down the information from the slide, I was distracted by my thoughts. I felt like I was in Sunday School again being taught about the verse:

"My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry because human anger does not produce the ritiousness that God desires" James 1:19-20

Let me remind you that I am at a secular school, yet this lesson paralleled what I have been taught in my Christian life and in my walk with Christ. When class ended and I was walking back to my room it struck me that it wasn't just by chance that I heard that message right now. Of course it was a lesson from the Lord, and another answer to one of my prayers. I have been getting so angry at everyone around me for every little thing that they do or say because I won't address who or what I am really angry at.

Let me explain how I see the parallel between the acronym and our Christian walk. The S stands for self, which for me means that I need to asses how important the matter at hand is to me, and I need to pray about it. The C stands for context. We are called to go to our brothers and sisters in Christ and talk about the conflict together. So before I speak my mind in a place where there are many people, I need to follow the guidelines that have been set up for us in Scripture. The R stands for Receiver. It means that before we confront someone or get angry with someone, we need to pray about whether or not this is even the root of your anger. Getting angry with the wrong person is not going to help, its going to cause more strife in your life.

The last three letter deal more with the outcome of our anger. The Lord does not say that we are not allowed to be angry, but He does not want us acting on that anger. Which is easier said than done, but hopefully the last part of this acronym will help you look at the bigger picture. The E stands for effect. What do you want to happen after you act on anger or say something out of anger? Think about what you would fufill by acting on anger. If that doesn't help then you can look at the next letter. The A stands for Aftermath. If you go as far as going off on someone in anger what do you think you are gaining? At this point you would have already gone against what the Lord commands of us. For me, when I have to deal with the aftermath I am overwhelmed with guilt and embarrassment that I didn't control my anger and act the way that the Lord wanted me to. The final letter, M stands for message. Once we have acted on anger and cool down what do those people that saw us so angry, think about us. This is so important to remember as a Christian because what we do reflects the work of the Lord to non believers. Are we sending them the love of Christ? or the wrath of us?

I am challenging you to somewhat follow this acronym in your thought process before you choose to speak out of anger. It is so easy to anger, but maybe this word is something for you to remember. Rather than act out on your anger, go to the Lord in prayer and ask for the best way to handle the situation. I guarantee you that He is listening to your prayers. He is very creative when giving the answers, so make sure you are listening for that answer when it comes. 

Pray to God, Not at God

In my pleading for guidance from the Lord yesterday I came across this verse, and I felt led to share this verse:

"I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my loving eye on you!" Psalm 32:8.

I just want you to think about that for a moment with me. It is hard to fully understand what the Lord has promised us. I am the first to admit that while I was hurting and angry, I repeated questions like Why is this happening? or What am I supposed to do now? and God why are You letting this happen? I was asking so many questions that I left Him no room to answer me. I took my own advice and prayed to God for some sort of direction but at the same time I was just praying at God and not to Him. Sometimes when we ask the Lord for help, we are hoping for an immediate response, which we do not always get.

Even though I hadn't been communicating with the Lord the way that I should have, He helped me anyway. No mater where you are in your walk with Christ, prayer still works. I spent all of yesterday praying AT God and ignoring His responses, but when I was scared out of my mind to say something, He gave me not only the words to speak, but the strength to say what I needed to say.  I felt this heavy weight that I had been putting on myself, be lift when I faced the task I had been dreading. While I was questioning whether or not God was listening He indeed gave me strength to say what I needed to say. He gave me strength even though I didn't deserve it. The thing that kills people that are angry with God, is the fact that even if they turn away from Him, He will never turn away from them.

My prayer hasn't been completely answer and I don't know how long it is going to take before I get the final response, but I can wait. Just by God giving me that bit of strength yesterday, I was reminded of who is in control. I was also reminded that He hears me crying out for help, and He wants to help but in His way and in His time. I wasn't listening to Him, but He has a way of making me listen to Him. I been running around in the dark this week, looking for some sign that would tell me I'm not alone. God gave me strength, He gave me a candle to lite and shine through the darkness.

I challenge you to find that candle no matter how dark a situation seems to be to you. It might help to put a real candle out on your counter, or your desk, or even the car (obviously don't lite it in the car). Let it serve as a reminder to you that God has the strength and God shines through all darkness. He will take the lead, but first we have to let Him. No matter what happens, I will praise God in this storm!

Letting God Take Control

Tuesdays and Thursdays are the days that I traipse around the entire campus to go to my four classes. Each one of my classes is in a different building. I have taken about four hours of notes, received tests back and tried to participate. In reality all I learned in my classes today was what the doors looked like. I didn't listen to the lectures because I was trying to find the fastest way out of there. My heart wasn't in it today, and neither was my head. I really just wanted to shut my brain off and sleep, hoping that when I woke up things would be different.

I am not the type of person who just gives up when something goes wrong. I used to be a floor mat that people walked all over and didn't give a second thought. I used to be able to shut out the problem and let it play itself out. I hated conflict and many times just gave in to what people wanted so that I wouldn't continue to upset them. However, I have grown up and I have changed. I am the first one to stand up for someone else when wrongdoing is occurring. I am the one that throws the rule book around because I believe that we have to have some order to this life that we are living. I am also the one who will never give up, no matter how tired and worn out I feel I will not give up. No matter how scared I am I keep going.

Something a wise person said to me yesterday was that yes, we can fight and we might come out on top, but is that really what God wants us to do, or is that just what we want to do? I was taken aback when I heard that because I had just thought up this plan that would get me what I wanted and make things turn out the way I think they should. I was ready to give my best soap box speech until that was said to me, then I was speechless. I was ready to head into battle but I was heading into my battle, the battle that I am leading because I want my outcome. I never stopped to ask God for direction, instead I hoped He would be fine with my plan.

We have been commanded to, "Trust in the Lord with all of your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight" Proverbs 3:5-6.

Proverbs 3: 5-6 has been turned into a marketing tool. That verse is plastered on stickers, pillows, blankets, wall decorations, binders, pencils and many other things. I wasn't even sure about writing it down today but then I realized that I was reading it from the Bible. I read this verse in its original context, with its original meaning. We have to remember where it is that these commandments are coming from. Your friend did not suddenly get creative, and adults did not suddenly become poetic. This is what God Himself wanted us to know and learn.

If you are like me, and you want to fight some battle to fix a problem then I challenge you to put your armor down and listen to the Lord. You and I have to take a step back and go to God. If my plan is not what God wants then I have to be ready to throw my plan away. Its going to take time, but I am also going to have to accept whatever solution He gives me. I am scared out of my mind about what the outcome will be, but God has a plan and His plan is the right plan not mine. Its time to step aside and let God take control. 

Repair a Relationship

The Lord laid something on my heart on Friday. I was so busy with everything that I needed to get done, but I still got the message. I figure it must be really important (everything He tells us is important but sometimes I don't listen). I have not stopped thinking about the matter since Friday night. I actually haven't even told anyone what God laid on my heart. It's not that I am keeping a secret, I just didn't know fully what God was calling me to do. I did not want to speak it out loud and later realize that, that was not the message God was sending to me. I have continued to pray about the best way to do what the Lord wants me to do. I also feel led to share this what I am being called to do, because it applies to all of us one way or another.

When walking past some people that I know I noticed that one person still wont look at me. At first I was quick to anger, but then I realized that I have no reason to be angry. I don't even remember what the original transgression was between the two of us. All I felt was guilt and sorrow for feeling so angry for so long. While I prayed for forgiveness from the Lord He laid upon me the need to go to that person as their sister in Christ and ask them for forgiveness. It takes only two people to keep a problem going and prevent forgiveness and healing. God has led me to let it go and stop being part of the problem because I am being called to follow Him and I cannot do that completely if I still hang onto my transgressions.

At some point or another we have upset someone, and someone has upset us. Let's face it, we're all sinners and there is nothing we can do to change it. However, as Christians we have a rule book to guide us, and we have an eternal teacher, that will always forgive us. We have been commanded to:

"Bear with one another and, if one has a complain against another, forgive each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you must also forgive" Colossians 3:13

We are all far from perfect, but we cannot simply live like we are part of the secular world. We live in the secular world but we are not of the secular world. The world teaches little girls to grow hate toward each other at a young age, and tells boys that all they have to do is beat each other up and things will be fine. Things are not fine because we have been called to forgive each other not fight each other or make each other miserable. As Christians we are told to confront our bothers and sisters and solve the problem together and with the Lord.

I am challenging you as well as myself to pray about a person in your life that you haven't forgiven or attempted to let go of the problem between you. It might take more than one week for the healing to occur but start just by reaching out to that person and ask them for forgiveness, but be specific while you ask because this has to be real from your heart. Most importantly before you ask for forgiveness from that person, pray that God gives you the words to say that are not full of anger and hate. Be ready for any sort of reaction and remember to be slow to anger (or not anger at all).  I am in prayer for all of you, as I hope you are in prayer for me. It is going to take courage and the strength of God to get through this weeks challenge, but we can do it.

Keep Me Accountable

When my roommate and I signed up for classes last year, we ended up in the same psychology class. It has worked out wonderfully because we do homework together and we study together and help each other along the way. This class is a higher level class, and it is our first higher level class in the college setting.We are about halfway done with the semester which means that its midterm time. Up until now we haven't had a lot of work, but now we are realizing why it is an upper level course. Our midterm is a take home, you would think that that's a great help, but its not. It is proving to be one of the most difficult midterms that I have taken so far.

Our midterm has seven sections to it. We sat down at four pm yesterday and worked for five hours on the packet. We only got four sections done. By about the third hour I was ready to quit. I figured that since it was not due today I would work on it later. However, my roommate wouldn't let me stop, no matter how hard I begged. We were stuggling with some of the questions and we were running out of resources to help us. I agreed to finish at least all of the questions and save the essays for another day, but during the fourth hour when we still couldn't find the answers to some of the questions, I wanted to give up and put my stuff away. Again my roommate wouldn't let me. She was holding me accountable.

While I was thinking back on yesterday, I realized that, that situation could parallel the Christian walk with Christ. I know that for me, when I face a challenge I automatically lift my prayers up to the Lord ready for an answer. However, as time passes, and I have not gotten that answer I get a little frustrated. It always seems that things get harder as time passes on. There are times when it would be so easy to give it up, and quit trusting that God is going to help you through whatever it is that you're going through. God is not expecting us to solve challenges alone. He is always there for us but we cannot just quit on Him, and we must, as Christian brothers and sisters, help each other not quit.

"Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted. Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ" Galatians 6:1-2

For me, having an accountability partner keeps me pushing forward not matter what challenge is in front of me. I challenge you to think about your accountability partner, and thank them for being a support to you. If you do not have an accountability partner consider looking for one. Remember accountability partners help each other, so if they are having trouble you are to be their support as well. We are not perfect, and when we stumble it's nice to have someone there to help you back up!

Under the Microscope

Today in my interpersonal communication course we completed an ethnography. Which is basically the study of behavior and interactions between a group of people. Our class was broken up into small groups and sent off around campus to choose a group and study them. We had to write as much detail as we could about the people that we studied. Then we had to compare notes with our group members and analyze what we saw. Later my group members and I were joking about not wanting to sit in groups because now we will wonder if anyone is watching/ analyzing us. While thinking about that I realized that it happens to us every single day. We analyze each other and we put each other into the categories based upon behaviors.  

The same is true for Christians living in this secular world.  At some level we all want to fit in. A lot of times in  order to fit in we have to behave in a certain way, dress a certain way, and talk a certain way. In most work places and schools we are surrounded by nonbelievers. They act in a secular way, and to impress others in hopes that they will accept us, we act in the same secular way. However, as Christians we are to be set apart from the rest. We are going to stand out, and sometimes we may not fit in with the group that we want to be in. This does not just apply to kids and teens, but adults as well.

"Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect."
 Romans 12:2

The Bible does not say conform when you feel it necessary, or when you want to be in the popular crowd. We are to be different because we do know the difference between right and wrong. We are told over and over what is good and acceptable. We don't get to have a day off because being a Christian is not a role that we play on stage. We can't just take off a costume when the shows over. This is our life and this is what we are called to do.

The way that I had to study a group of people is kind of like how non believers or young believers watch us. Non believers are hoping that we mess up so that they can say we are just like them, giving them an excuse to leave their lives as is instead of changing how they live and giving their lives to Christ. Young believers are looking to us to show them what to do and how to at now that they too have to live set apart.  God doesn't expect us to be perfect, and He knows that we are going to slip sometimes. We just have to remember that we are leaders, because like it or not we are under a microscope (no pressure).

I am challenging you to think about the way you are acting in public or with your friends. Are you setting a good example? or are you trying to fit in? It is not an easy task, but it is one that we have to do together. We have to hold each other accountable and we have to encourage each other. We know that we are to be leaders that are set apart. Can you do it?

Motivation

Last night I had an amazing opportunity to sit and listen to former CBS Evening News anchor Dan Rather. In the communication world he is a legend and someone that I look up to. There is a stereotype, that sometimes holds true, that television figures are all fake. Meaning that they act like first class citizens, and put on a show. After listening to Dan last night I can honestly say that he is a kind, hardworking man. He turned out to be quite the motivational speaker. The way he encourages young journalists was comforting to me, because I have been questioning whether or not journalists will be needed by the time I graduate.

The key is that he motivated me to continue what  I am doing, and to strive for high goals. The same can be true with our faith. I have been on the fence about what focus I was going to choose for my major. For me all it took was just a few people (and Dan Rather) to motivate me to make a decision and move forward. There are many people that sit on the fence about their decision to follow or not follow Christ. They need someone to motivate them to make a choice and move forward with their lives.

I have found though, that there is something else stopping us from being the motivators. For a number of reasons/ excuses we feel like we are not suit to be a motivator. I know that sometimes I sit in my room, knowing that I should be taking the opportunity to witness to others, and I tell myself that I'm not the only Christian and someone else will go out and be the motivator.  What if all of us just sat back and said to ourselves that someone else is already doing it so why should I. What if not one person decided to spread the word because they assumed that some other Christian already took care of it?

"For it is God who works in you, to will and to act in order to fulfill His good purpose!" 
Philippians 2:13.

 I think we sometimes forget who it is that does the work in our lives and through our lives. I will be the first to admit that in the area of motivation and "preaching" the Word, I have not put in enough effort. I have not made motivating others a top priority on my list of things to do.  However, I am reminded that we are called to step up and be the motivator for on the fence Christians or unbelievers.

I am not asking you to take this lightly, because it is a big job, but the question is are you ready to step up and be the motivator? If you still feel like that is not you, then take a look at your life, and your walk with the Lord and figure out what is stopping you. A simple thing to try would be to encourage your neighbor or your friend to go to church. Tell them about the service, motivate them to go. Motivation can come in all forms, but it must come from us, and through the love of Christ. Be in prayer about this, and please consider becoming what I call the motivator. Set your fellow believers on fire for Christ, I guarantee it will change a lot.

On My Knees

Yesterday was horrible. To be honest I wish I had just slept through my alarm and stayed in bed. Most of the conversations that I held with people were upsetting to me and to them. I felt good for a little while after I wrote yesterdays blog post but after that I was pretty miserable. I couldn't even form the words to explain to anyone how I was feeling. This upset feeling has been growing inside of me for some time now. Yesterday just seemed to be my breaking point. This is not the first time I have gotten to the breaking point, but it was the first time for this year. Keeping my emotions internal is something that I do every single day. I feel that I am not here to dump all of my worries on someone else. Instead I learn to listen to the trials that others are facing and figure out how to help them.

I want to make it clear that I don't listen and give advice just so that I can have a pat on the back. I listen because I love those that are coming to me. It makes me feel closer to God when I help friends, or even strangers. When I was a little bit younger than I am now, I used to make a joke that God put out a sign telling people to bring me their problems. I believe that God puts people in our lives for a reason, and sometimes I feel that I am in people's lives just to listen. We all need at least one person that will just listen. You all know that  I always have something to say, but I think that God puts these people in my life so that I can learn to listen.

For me, I am afraid to say how I am feeling because once I say it I can never take it back. For example, when everyone else is in a positive mood I will not share my feelings if they are not positive because I don't want to ruin anyone happiness. By not saying anything, I am hoping that some of their happiness will spill into my life. After yesterday I realize just how wrong I am. I spent most of the day upset, tired, and crying. I reached the point where I couldn't hold my feelings in any longer.

This is not something that I talk about, especially publicly, but through prayer I feel that God wants me to share what is happening and what has happened. I may never find out why but I know that God has a reason. When I get to the point that I call my breaking point, I feel weak. No matter how hard I try there is this underlying part of me that feels that I have to be the one person who holds it together. When I cry, I feel useless and like I am letting others down. It is hard to explain this in a way that makes sense to others but its how I have dealt with so many trials and tribulations that have come my way. It is a learning process that is going to take time, but I can use my experiences of reaching a breaking point to hopefully prevent others from reaching that same point.

If you are someone that keeps things internal instead of sharing what is going on, you know what I am talking about when I say that you don't know where to turn. I pray every single day all day long, but I pray for God to send someone to me. When I am ready to explode, I search for someone to talk to , but it seems like no one is there for you. Its like sailing a boat in the middle of a storm and your entire crew jumps ship. This brings me to the verse that I need to memorize and keep in the back of my mind.

"Then they cried to the Lord in their trouble, and He delivered them from their distress. He made the storm be still and the waves of the sea were hushed. Then they were glad that the waters were quiet, and He brought them to their desired haven." Psalm 107: 28-30

It's scary to feel the way that I felt but I knew that even if not a single person was around to listen to me, God was there. I challenge you to be the listener. If you are a person that doesn't often take time to listen to someone, start listening. If you are the person that keeps everything inside and only listens, open up. If you can't open up to others, then open up to God. He may know everything that we do, say and feel but give it all to Him. For the first time in a year and a half (which is when I had knee surgery), before I went to bed I got down on my knees, and I lifted my prayers to the Lord. I was long overdue for a prayer on my knees, and for me it brought blessings. Figure out what makes you feel closest to God and just pray.

I Will Not Be a Disappointment

I am really struggling with a lot of things right now. It seems to me that no matter how hard I work at something, or prepare for something I fail. I really wish I could just give up, and quit school, and quit adulthood. The transition from childhood to adulthood is far from smooth. I have taken on adult roles for a good part of my life because with all of the medical issues I've had to grow up fast. Since I had played an adult role for a while, I have never fit in with kids my own age and I had nothing in common with them. Even here at school I find that I have still have many more responsibilities than my peers. I also spent all summer acting as my siblings second mom (yes mom I admit that I try to be you, you were right).

A lot of the people that I consider friends are around my mom's age. They accept me as a Christian women and their equal . Everytime I go home and talk to them they are so excited for me and want to know all about my success at school. Now here I sit, wondering how to tell them that I'm not succeeding in the ways that I would be proud of. Yes my grades are good, but every single low grade is a blow to my self esteem and self worth. I know that to everyone else I seem to be getting upset over something silly, but you have to understand that I have never been the star athlete, I have been the one who does really well in academics. I have always succeeded in school, and I am fighting to continuing seeing myself in that way.

I am scared of disapointing all of my adult role models because once I do that, I become a typical college student in their eyes. They have all experienced what I am experiencing, but for me, not only am I working to make them proud, I also have five siblings who are looking to me to lead the way and show then the right choices to make. I fear that because no one sees me studying they are going to assume that my low test grades are because I am not focusing on school. I know that I have test anxiety but how am I supposed to explain that I study for a minimum of four hours a day yet I can't do well on my tests and exams.

As I sit here, I have so many thoughts that are spinning through my head. I have so many questions that I keep asking myself. None of this is making me feel any better, nor is it making me want to keep trying. Everytime I read finish reading a chapter in my textbook(s) I conclude that I wasted my time reading because I'm going to fail the exam/test/quiz anyway. I also shy away from reading anything else because I now put bad connotations with books in general. However, I just looked at my desk again and realized there is one book that I haven't picked up today. It is the only book that I read, that gives me a sense of relief. This book is the Bible, the very word of the Lord.

Even just seeing the Bible stopped all the other thoughts that spin through my head. When I opened my Bible it was like a breath of fresh air. I came across a verse in my reading that is fairly common but I believe that it is a message that God wanted me to hear again.

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to his purpose." Romans 8:28

Obviously just reading that one verse is not going to change everything that I am feeling at this moment, but it gives me perspective. I am able to step back and look at my situation and better assess (with the Lord's guidance) where to go from here.

There is this one thing that I do when I am feeling like nothing I do is right, or when I think I am at the end of my rope. I challenge you to do what I am about to explain the next time you are facing any sort of tribulation. Take your bible and place it in front of you, do not open it. Before you do anything else close your eyes, cross your hands and pray. As the Lord to show you something that He thinks you need to hear in that moment. However, the prayer needs to be real, and you have to be ready to actually follow through with what God will share with you. Then pick a spot in your Bible and open it. It sounds ridiculous and like something that came out of a kids movie but it honestly works. I am able to shut the world out for that moment and read the page that is in front of me. Good luck and have faith in the Lord to get you through anything!

More than Blessed

We are always told to forget the past and look toward the future. In theory that might work out okay for you, but in reality unless you have had some sort of head trauma, or medical condition you aren't going to forget the past. Not forgetting the past, and dwelling on the past are two totally different issues, I am speaking more along the lines of looking into your past, not dwelling. My thoughts on this matter came about this morning when I was wishing my best friend of many years, a happy 18th birthday. As we continued talking he said "can you believe I'm 18?". I had to take a step back and let it sink in that he just turned 18. When we met all those years ago in Sunday School, he was about 12, and I was 13. Time had come and gone faster than I realized it.

It really had me thinking about the path that we took to get to the place we are in our friendship today. The years of fellowship, repairing old wounds, worshiping the Lord, and keeping each other accountable. Think about a friend that you have known for a very long time. I guarantee that you have gone through a lot together, and created many memories along the way.

On a broader end, I began to think about my entire past. I remember all of those times that I wanted to give up, or the situations that I thought would never change. I thought about all of the pain I have faced, and all of the times that the doctors said that there was nothing more that they could do. Here I stand today, I have overcome so many obsticales. The best part is, that I am proof to myself and to others that God is amazing and that He is our healer and our protector. All of those times that the doctors couldn't help me, God found a way to help me! All of the tears that I have shed, God caught in His hand and comforted me. Even through all of the times that I pushed God away, He never let go of me.

Looking at my past I do see all of the mistakes I made, all of the friends that I lost, and time that I wasted. I also see all of the blessing that the Lord gave me, and all of the healing, and all of the new friends that I have gained. I never imagined when I started thinking about the past this morning, that it would set me on fire for the Lord, but it did. I cannot even begin to explain how blessed I feel to be where I am today. I also cannot really explain how amazing it feels to now have actual proof of God working in my life. We all have "proof" but it has taken me a while to finally realize this.

I challenge you to look back on your past, and rather than viewing it in a negative light, look at it through the eyes of a child of God. It may take you a while to really see what God has done in your life, but He has worked in your life and continues to work in your life. Give God praise and thank Him for everything that He has helped you overcome thus far! I have just begun thanking Him but I have so much more to be thankful for! I am excited to see what the Lord is going to do next in my life, and with God I am ready to face whatever comes my way.

One Nation Under God?

You may or may not know this, but I am big into politics. I enjoy learning about the system and how it works (or how it's supposed to work), and watching politics in action. I am strongly believe that everyone who is of age should register to vote, and take part in this democratic process. However, that is not my point for today so you can relax! The other reason that I am involved in politics is because I am an advocate for the Arthritis Foundation and it is my job as an advocate to speak to politicians and law makers to get them involved in passing Bills for people with disabilities like Arthritis.

Last night was a huge Presidential debate between President Obama and Governor Romney. I wasn't going to watch it but I realized that I have to choose one of them to be a leader of this country. I knew that it was going to make me upset, and of course I turned it off after about 45 minutes because I was angry. I sat there and watched them bicker with fake little smiles on their faces. Then I logged onto Facebook and watched as many of my friends and classmates posted status after status about the debate. I eventually had to get off of Facebook because when it comes to politics I am very emotional.

While sitting in bed I kept replaying what was said during the debate. They covered oil, green energy, healthcare, the economy, jobs and a variety of other topics. I still have one question though, where does God fit in to all of this? They argued about so many things, but not once did anyone show any concern about the role that God plays in this. Wasn't this country built on a foundation of faith? I am very disappointed that our leaders have lost sight of the most important thing we need to be a successful country.

"Blessed is the nation whose God is the Lord, the people He chose for His inheritance" Psalm 33:12.  

I know that many disagree with me, but I am very passionate about God being the center of this country. I challenge you to get on your knees and pray for this country. Pray for this upcoming election, and pray for local politicians. Pray with someone else, and pray for guidance. I want to be doing more to share the importance of the Lord in life decisions like these. I am praying for God's will to be done, and for Him to give me direction. Above all, don't lose hope because we know that all things are possible with God.

Ready or Not

It would be easy for me to slip back into my negative thought process again. It would be easy for me to say that the happiness I have been feeling had to end sooner or later, but I'm not going to say that. I no longer believe that good things are only temporary, while something bad is getting ready to enter my life. So many people feel that way, and they learn to question happiness. It has taken a lot for me to get rid of those thoughts, and that negative way of living. When I say that I understand what it feels like to never trust happiness, I mean it, however, I also know now that happiness is real and so is the love of Christ.

When you are about to, or are facing a trial, many believers will tell you that God won't give you more than you can handle. I have heard that countless times, and I believe it, but it is not always a comfort when things are going downhill. It always made me turn to the Lord and tell Him that it's more than I can handle, or my favorite thing was to ask Him how much more He believed I could handle. The Lord does know how much we can handle but repeating that over and over to someone is not going to help them. It is almost like your friends are brushing you off to God because they don't want to help you themselves. 

I am saying all of this from experience, and I am saying this as someone who is facing new trials. Facing a trial does not mean I lose all of the happiness that I have been feeling. What it means is that I can go into this trial with a new perspective and with the knowlege that things actually get better. As long as I continue to put my trust in God, I can overcome anything, my family can overcome anything. I feel a strength that I have never felt before. It is like God has turned all of my tears into a renewed strength and a renewed faith in Him.

"Finally, be strong in the Lord and in His mighty power. Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand." Ephesians 6:10-13.


If someone you or someone you know is facing a trial,  I challenge you to stand firm in faith, and trust in the love of Christ. No one said that trials were going to be easy, but the outcome can change depending on where you turn, and where you place your trust. Place your trust in God, and pray for the strength that you desire to face tribulation. Pray for others that do not feel strength yet, and put on the armor of God because nothing is impossible with God. As for me, I am taking a stand, and ready or not I am facing this trial with the Lord by my side.

Bad Days

Usually I can tell when I am going to have a bad day. I just get this feeling when I wake up that something is going to go wrong. This morning when I woke up I was a little nervous about wearing uncomfortable clothing for my interpersonal communication course but I was still relatively happy. Every day I roll out of bed and turn on Chris Tomlin's CD "And if Our God is For Us", while I get ready. I followed my same routine today, not knowing what the day would turn into.

My day began going downhill when I went to my biology class and received my exam back. If you recall me speaking about the exam, you know that I spent hours, and days studying for this one exam. My professor began class by saying that the class grades were the lowest she has ever seen. She also said that anyone that received below an 80% has not proved that they cared, nor that they studied. My stomach dropped at that point. I had felt good about the exam after I took it, and when I saw my grade I wanted to cry. It did not reflect my hard work, nor did it meet the expectations I have for myself.

I spent the rest of that class very distracted, wondering what I did wrong. I was angry and hurt by what the professor said, but I can now understand why she said that. Most of the kids around me did not put in time and effort, most of them don't care. I am going to wait until I am not so upset and talk to her, because I feel that it is important for me to let her know that I care about this class, and I take school very seriously. I know from the outside it seems that I am complaining over a grade that isn't failing, but God has given me the ability to do well in school and each bad grade feels like I have disappointed Him. I know that, that is not the case, but it doesn't make the feeling go away.

After all of that, I made it through my music class, and had to turn around and get ready for my com project of the day. I had to dress in a manor that makes me uncomfortable and talk to people around the campus. I was already in a bad mood so I did not feel like putting my heart into this assignment. When class was over I was ready to go back to the dorm and relax, however I did not check the weather this morning so I was faced with a surprise when it started pouring rain. My knee did not agree with the cold, wet clothing that I was wearing and now my knee is swollen.

I leave you with the verse that I keep repeating to myself over and over:
"I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us." Romans 8:18

I challenge you to keep this verse in mind the next time it seems like everything is going wrong. Though today has been challenging for me, I know that it will end and good days will come! Have faith in the Lord, and most of all PRAY! Pray for me, pray for others, and pray for comfort.

Suffocating

More than once in my life I have come to a place where I feel cornered, like I can't breathe because if I do everything will only get worse. Sometimes the situation takes weeks to resolve, but other times it takes a few years.  You may have felt this way before, some refer to it as a Catch 22. No matter which way you turn, or which choice you make the outcome is terrible. For me Catch 22 makes me feel like I am being stepped on, and all of the people that I believed to be friends, are just sitting there and watching it happen.

That feeling has surfaced again, but this time it's not happening to me. It is happening in my home. The child that we adopted a few years ago has tormented, and working hard to break our family apart. It took us a long time to realize what was going on, and the child admitted that she was/is trying to get between all of us. Hearing that made me want to vomit. My strong God loving home was being "infiltrated" and no one on the outside could see it. This child has many issues, and I do not blame her for the issues themselves. When we were out in public as a family, she was an angel and this sweet girl who joined the family. Once we got home she changed back to her normal, angry, hateful, harmful self. To everyone else, when we punished her we were scolded for being harsh. I can't tell you how many times we heard that we are not treating her fairly or justly. Each person that said something cut off more and more of the air that we could breathe.

My parents won't give up on this child because they adopted the child as their own. They are fighting so hard to get her all of the help that they can. My heart is not where it should be where she is concerned because when I look at her I see how Satan is using her, and I forget that though she is being used by Satan, she is not Satan. That, however, is a matter all of its own. After about a year of the tormenting and harm that she caused, someone finally saw it and believed what we have been saying. It is so hard to get support because our friends and family pass judgement on this situation before they know everything.

Yet again we are in the situation of being stepped on, but this time it seems that our friends and help are the ones doing the stepping. It was so hard for us to look for help and accept help because we don't want to step outside of the path that God has set for each of us. I am tired of being silent and watching as my parents, and my family fighting for help with no one by their side. I should have turned to God a long time ago, but I figured that since we were getting help the Lord must have already answered the prayer. I was mistaken, I didn't really listen to the answer, because I just wanted the problem to go away. Now things are getting worse, and maybe it's God's way of reminding me who is in control.

Though it feels like we are suffocating, God is reminding us that He is in control and promises that, "No weapon formed against you shall prosper, and every tongue which rises against you in judgement you shall condemn. This is the heritage of the servants of the Lord, and their righteousness is from Me," says the Lord. Isaiah 54:17

I challenge you to stand up and be the help and support to anyone that has tribulation in their lives. Rather than pass judgement, offer support and love. Pray for God to give you understanding in the situation that someone else is facing. Do not be the one that suffocates a friend or makes assumptions about what a friend is going through. If you are the one that feels like you are suffocating, breathe and know that God is here, and He loves you, and He will ALWAYS take care of you, even if no one else does. Remember to pray, because God will listen.