Tuesdays and Thursdays are the days that I traipse around the entire campus to go to my four classes. Each one of my classes is in a different building. I have taken about four hours of notes, received tests back and tried to participate. In reality all I learned in my classes today was what the doors looked like. I didn't listen to the lectures because I was trying to find the fastest way out of there. My heart wasn't in it today, and neither was my head. I really just wanted to shut my brain off and sleep, hoping that when I woke up things would be different.
I am not the type of person who just gives up when something goes wrong. I used to be a floor mat that people walked all over and didn't give a second thought. I used to be able to shut out the problem and let it play itself out. I hated conflict and many times just gave in to what people wanted so that I wouldn't continue to upset them. However, I have grown up and I have changed. I am the first one to stand up for someone else when wrongdoing is occurring. I am the one that throws the rule book around because I believe that we have to have some order to this life that we are living. I am also the one who will never give up, no matter how tired and worn out I feel I will not give up. No matter how scared I am I keep going.
Something a wise person said to me yesterday was that yes, we can fight and we might come out on top, but is that really what God wants us to do, or is that just what we want to do? I was taken aback when I heard that because I had just thought up this plan that would get me what I wanted and make things turn out the way I think they should. I was ready to give my best soap box speech until that was said to me, then I was speechless. I was ready to head into battle but I was heading into my battle, the battle that I am leading because I want my outcome. I never stopped to ask God for direction, instead I hoped He would be fine with my plan.
We have been commanded to, "Trust in the Lord with all of your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight" Proverbs 3:5-6.
Proverbs 3: 5-6 has been turned into a marketing tool. That verse is plastered on stickers, pillows, blankets, wall decorations, binders, pencils and many other things. I wasn't even sure about writing it down today but then I realized that I was reading it from the Bible. I read this verse in its original context, with its original meaning. We have to remember where it is that these commandments are coming from. Your friend did not suddenly get creative, and adults did not suddenly become poetic. This is what God Himself wanted us to know and learn.
If you are like me, and you want to fight some battle to fix a problem then I challenge you to put your armor down and listen to the Lord. You and I have to take a step back and go to God. If my plan is not what God wants then I have to be ready to throw my plan away. Its going to take time, but I am also going to have to accept whatever solution He gives me. I am scared out of my mind about what the outcome will be, but God has a plan and His plan is the right plan not mine. Its time to step aside and let God take control.
No comments:
Post a Comment