With everything that is going on in my life I keep wondering what it is that I am supposed to be doing right now. I am living in uncertainty and question. I don't think that I am the only one that faces this, but when you are in the middle of facing tribulation it can get lonely. You don't know where to turn or who to ask for help. It seems obvious to turn to the Lord during times of distress but we don't always remember to turn to Him. We search for someone that will point us in a different direction. For me, it's like I am looking around and all of the doors are closing, and I am frantically looking for the open door.
I see things happening and I can't stop them. My thoughts are consumed with a burning desire to fix everything. I am running out of time and energy and I have lost my focus. Every time I received news this week, it was unpleasent. My emotions are unorganized and my drive has slowed, almost to a stop. I want to give up because that would be easier than fighting through and pushing forward. It would be easy to shut everything out and accept that this is the best my life is ever going to be. If I were to do that, then I wouldn't be me.
There is a verse that I used to have hanging about my light switch and it says,
For God, who said, "Let light shine out of darkness," made His light shine in our hearts to give us the light of the knowledge of God's glory displayed in the face of Christ. 2 Corinthians 4:6
It seems that I am walking through darkness, stumbling on every little bump in the road. Each time that I fall I feel more and more like I don't belong here. Today I realized that one of my stumbling blocks is that I have lost sight of my goals. In school, I am facing challenges with admissions, and schedule and their lack of communication. I am overwhelmed by the amount of garbage that has been dumped on me because the adults in the offices do not show enough kindness to point me in the right direction. It's not fair, and I have let that get in the way of my final goal.
I am here to get a better education and enter the work force with a degree to back me up. The same can be true for my Christian life. I am so tired, and I sit here and continue to ask the Lord when enough will be enough. I don't want to handle anything else but He keeps stacking more things on me. I have put all of my prayer focus on ending my pain and tribulation and not on what I should be focusing. I have lost sight of what I am supposed to be doing as a young Christian woman.
So I am challenging you along with myself to step back and refocus our attention on our goal. What is it that we are doing all of this work for? We are all working toward something, but let's make sure that it is the right goal and the Godly goal. Try writing down your biggest goals that you are working toward and figure out what you need to do to get there. Above all, pray for the light of the Lord to shine through darkness and guide you on this path.
No comments:
Post a Comment