As For Me, I Trust in You

A week ago today I was holding a little baby in my arms wishing that I never had to let go, but I did. We had to let her go because it was in God's plan. I was hurting and I was angry. I wanted to be angry with God, I wanted to be angry with myself for not being able to stop what was going to happen. I couldn't do either of those things. I had to come to peace with God's plan and His will for that babies life and for my life. This week was a very trying week for me, and it was a week where I learned just how many people that He has placed in my life for support.

It feels like an eternity since that day last week. The days dragged on and I was kind of in a haze. I made it through each day, and even learned, and gave testimony to so many, but I couldn't stop thinking about the major change that has occurred in my life. As I have said before I hate change. I like things to be predictable and or solvable. Sometimes I get caught up in needed to take control of my life and how I am going to live my life, but I forget that I am not the one in control, God is. Sometimes the things that we try and take control of are small, and other times they have a huge impact on our walk with the Lord. Here I am preaching that we all need to give everything over the Lord, while I have sat here not letting Him take control of my situation.

I think that, that is one of the reasons last week was so hard for me. I wanted to control who was in my life and who was not allowed in my life. I wanted, what I wanted and nothing else. I was treating my loss as a personal failure. I did not fail because I am not in control and God did not fail because this was His plan. This week He has shown me how truly blessed I am. I do not deserve any of the blessings that have come my way. I didn't listen to Him, and I tried to take control, yet still, He blessed me and He comforted me. Through all of my tears He has yet again showed me His light and His love.

By trying to take control of this situation or any situation I am, in a way, saying to God that I do not trust His plan and His will . Psalm 55:22-23 says:
"Cast your cares on the Lord and He will sustain you; He will never let the righteous fall. But You, O God, will bring down the wicked into the pit of corruption; bloodthirsty and deceitful men will not live out half their days. As for me, I trust in You."

The first part really got me, because that is what I have been afraid of. I feared that I would not be able to keep moving on after this loss. I knew that by myself I really couldn't even stand right now, but I am standing. I am standing ONLY because the Lord is sustaining me with His love. For all of you that are facing trouble at the hand of other people read the second half of that verse and do not be anxious anymore. Trust in God. My challenge for you this weekend is to bow your head in prayer and trust God. Trust in His promises and His strength. All I can say to you is, As for my, I trust in You! God bless!