Sunday, January 30, 2011

Never Ending Warfare.

Today I thought I knew exactly what I was going to write about. I had it planned out. All through youth group I kept thinking of what else to add to that idea. Then my sister came along. Now she tends to be very emotional, and I don't deal well with it. I get angry with her when she cries about what I think is none sense. I was very angry with her when we got home, and I went to bed angry with her. She has this problem (as I call it) with compassion. She loves everyone, which we are supposed to do, but she also takes on their problems and thinks that they are her problems, even when the people don't know her. She is overly emotional and sometimes irrational. The thing is though, her heart is in the right place with God. God wants us to love everyone. She loves everyone unconditionally. I hate that she can do it because I can't. I just feel that it is too difficult and it is something that I will always have to work on. Tonight I really wanted to leave youth group, but she had a questions about this girl that she is friends with. The question took forever to answer and I already had a migraine. I became irritated and glared at her. That was one very immature, and two not Christlike.

I took a step back when I got into my room. I wanted to stay angry with her but I decided to take another look at the situation and realized that in her mind this was the most important thing in the world at that moment. She felt that she needed help to hear what God had to say to her. She cried out for help and I turned away. I am angry with myself now. How could I have turned away when all day we talked about standing out and standing up for everyone? I made a mistake and I need to ask for forgiveness. I feel in my heart that I am going through a lot, and I took my frustration out on my sister, who also has a heavy heart.

I found some wisdom in the Word not just for my sister, but for myself as well, "As far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us" Psalm 103: 12. This is a verse, that the song "East to West" by Casting Crowns, came from. It is beautiful and hopefully will bring us all a little peace in mind that the Lord is really listening to us, and He sees everything that we are going through. He is ready to help us, and take care of us. We have been given the answers that we ask for, and now it is up to us, whether or not we listen to the word of the Lord.

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